


Every Lifetime

by warblerklaineforever



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:09:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3673575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warblerklaineforever/pseuds/warblerklaineforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a different world Kurt has suffered a life full of lies, death, abuse, disorders, depression, and foster families. Will Kurt and Blaine really find each other in every lifetime?</p>
<p>Kurt has been in foster care for the last seven years to find out that his dad never died before he was born like his mother said. Now Kurt has a real family, but when an old one is in town Kurt is faced with years of frightening suppressed memories.</p>
<p>Trigger warning for abuse and rape, eating disorders, depression, and suicidal thoughts/ actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home, for Real

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> P.S. I don't own any of the characters or places or names or anything, really.   
> P.P.S. Here is my concept designs: http://warblerklaineforever.tumblr.com/daltondesigns

I really hate this stupid child welfare office. The hard plastic couch is stupid, the dumb posters on the wall are stupid, and hell, even the little water fountain is stupid. I am so sick and tired of having to sit here while the "adults" are in my caseworker's office talking about me. I have no control over my life, and I haven't for the past seven years since my mom died.

Every time I end up here it's so someone can tell me that they don't care about me enough to keep me. Not that I wanted some of those people to keep me, but I thought the Petersons were different. They seemed genuinely interested in me, even during those first few months when I refused to talk. I still don't talk much, but when I do I think I am being nice. I'm not like those little kids who scream and cry and throw tantrums for no good reason.

But those kids do have a reason. They were separated from their brothers and sisters, their parents abused them, their parent's died, or they were locked in a closet and starved every time they did something wrong. Everyone that goes through this office building has a reason. A reason to cry and be angry, a reason to kick and fight; a reason to hate people, life, and themselves. I have a reason too. I have a reason to be silent, to lock myself away, to hate human contact, to not eat.     

When my mom died I was only eight, so the full weight of everything never hit me until I was about 12. That was when Dave Karofsky, my foster father's son, started to abuse me. That's when I realized how I had no one in this world. Paul took me in for the sake of him and his fancy- smanchy businesses reputation. Dave hated me for just there. Then he hated me for being gay. Then he hated me for turning him into "a little queer". No one cared about me. No one loved me. So I can starve myself and no one will care.

The Petersons seemed to care though. When my caseworkers found out about the eating disorder they said I would have to be moved temporarily until I started eating again, and then I might be able to go back and live with the Karofsky's. So now I can't eat, even if I think the Petersons do care about me. They have me in Cyber School because the files say public school was the reason for my "disorder", and they let me change my middle name from Austin to Elizabeth after my mother. So I snack here and there when no one is around, but if I start to eat again I would be sent back to hell.

* * *

The door next to me opened and Earl, my caseworker, stuck his head out. "Kurt, you can come in now."

I walked into the office and Anne Peterson, my foster mother, moved over a seat so I could sit between her and her husband Luke.

Anne had long brown hair that was starting to gray at the roots, and she a had short and fragile stature that made you question how she did so many energetic activities like ice skating and dancing without cracking like precious china. Luke was quite the opposite. He was tall and muscular from years of being a personal trainer. He had a shiny bald head and a bushy mustache that he sometimes shaped into a handlebar. They were both in their late fifties and were so quiet and kind, more than I could hope for in a foster family.

"Kurt, I was recently contacted by one of your mothers old teachers."

My eyes bugged out a little. One of the reasons I was in foster care and not with grandparents, for example, was because my mother had no history. No friends or family they could contact. It was like she didn't exist until after she was gone.

"Apparently, your mother ‘disappeared' shortly after she graduated from high school in a small Ohio town called Lima."

I sat there in disbelief. My mom is from Ohio? And why would she just disappear?

Anne patted my hand as Earl continued "She was romantically involved with an older man and her family excommunicated her."

I never thought someone's jaw could literally drop, but mine did.

"This man is Burt Hummel and I was able to contact him. He agreed to a paternity test and, Kurt, your dad is alive."

Holy shit. This cannot be real.

"No," I said in denial. "My dad died before I was born in a horrible accident overseas and his body was never recovered. Right?"

"If that's what your mother told you, it was a lie."

"I am Kurt Wiley, not Kurt... Hummel. My mom never lied to me. This can't be real!" I was tearing up a little and my voice was starting to sound extra squeaky.

"Dearie, it's true. Your um... father says that he wants custody of you. He is a really nice man, he owns a little car garage and is married to a lovely woman and has a stepson. They are all really looking forward to meeting you." I could tell that all Anne wanted to do was hold me and comfort me, but because I really hated human contact, she settled for patting my hand again.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FIND THIS OUT SEVEN YEARS AGO?" I snapped at Earl. I was taken back a little by my sudden anger, but he deserved it.

"I knew had that coming. Well, Kurt, your mother erased her past. Even the teacher was surprised that she was even alive for eight years after she skipped town. I can't help the fact that Elizabeth didn't want anyone to find her or figure out her past. I am really sorry you had to deal with the system for all this time, but you have a real family now. That's more than most of the kids here can dream of."

I have to admit, he's right. As I opened my mouth to reply with some snarky comment, Luke cuts me off. "Don't go getting mad at him for something none of us had control over. Why don't we go home and get you packed up. Lima is quite a drive from Chicago."

* * *

I stood on the sidewalk outside my new house. It was a nice little two story on a hill, just outside town. Lima was incredibly small; with a dinky little Italian place, a few shops and fast food places, lots of churches, and the elementary, junior- high, and high school making up the entirety of downtown. I wasn't quite sure how long I stood there, just staring at my new residence, until Luke handed me my suitcase from the trunk of the car. "Welcome home, for real. Let's say goodbye, then you can go meet your family."

I turned to Anne, whose eyes were already starting to glisten from unshed tears. "I really loved getting to know you Kurt. You really are an amazing kid and never forget that, okay?"

I nodded my head and turned to Luke, who held his hand for me to shake, which I did. "Kurt, you are a lot stronger then I think you know. You are safe from that crappy caseworker and that sketchy foster family you were with before us. Don't forget that, and try to eat some more. You're safe."

"I... I... I love both of you like you were my real parents. Or grandparents," Luke chuckled at my small jibe at their age "And I promise to eat more. Thank you."

"Now go meet your family. And don't forget us. I expect an invitation to your high school graduation, college graduation, and wedding." Anne said lightly as she laughed a little. "We love you too, Kurt." She was crying now, because I had never once told anyone but my mother that I loved them. And I was crying too, because I never thought anyone could love me but my mother. But they did. I wiped my eyes and decided to do something rash before I would think too much and decide against it. I hugged them.

"Oh, Kurt."

I released them after a quick second or two, and picked up my suitcase. With a wave goodbye to the Petersons, I rang the doorbell of my house.

"Hello? Oh, hi dude, you must be Kurt." A giant- sized teenager said as he opened the door. "I'm Finn." He stepped back and let me walk in, then turned around to yell at no in particular "KURT'S HERE!"

Out of a hallway that must've led to the kitchen, a pleasant looking blonde haired woman appeared, still in an apron and holding a spoon that had cookie dough on it.

"Oh, cookie dough!" Finn ran to the woman, who I assumed was his mother, and took the spoon from her hand.

"Finn, no..." But he had already started to lick the batter off. She sighed then rushed over to me. "Aww, you're so cute." She shook my hand. "I'm Carole. Burt should be down the stairs any minute now. Do you like chocolate chip cookies? I'm making some... or was going to if Finn eats all the batter."

So the Petersons didn't inform them of my ‘condition'. Figures they wouldn't. But I  _am_  safe here from Karofsky.

"Um, sure."

"Here, I can take your bag for you." Carole took my suitcase and headed toward the stairs. She stopped in front of the hallway to yell "Finn, do NOT eat all the batter or you won't get to eat the actual cookies!" I heard something clatter against metal, so I guess Finn put down the spoon. He must really like to eat.

As Carole went up the stairs the man who must be father walked down. He was surprisingly older than I thought he would be, and you could tell he worked at a car garage, because he had that mechanic look to him.

"Kurt. You look so much like your mother. I'm Burt, but please call me dad." He pulled me into a surprise hug, which shocked me a little so I just stood there and flinched.

"Hi." I don't know what I was expecting. Should I have seen him and been all dramatic, like in the movies where you suddenly feel like you really are home, or should I have started to cry from realizing that I am truly safe from all those years of bullying and abuse from Karofsky? I don't know.

"Wow, this is real. I never thought I would have a son of my own." Burt continued to look my skinny porcelain frame over. "Carole's making cookies, so once they're done, how about we talk? I have some stuff I would like to show you. For now, Finn can show you around so you can get settled in. How does that sound?" He placed a hand on my back and led me further into the house. I just nodded my head. "Finn! Come give Kurt a tour." Finn came in from the kitchen with a grilled cheese in one hand.

"Shr." He slurred with a mouth full of food. "D'ya wanna a grilled cheese? I can make another one."

"No thanks."

"Kay then, time for a tour! I can show you my room first!" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward a door. For someone as Frankenstein-like as him, he acted like a six year old.

* * *

My new room was pretty nice. It had clean white walls, one of which had shelves decorated with random things that gave it a sophisticated kind of feel. My bed was red with white pillows and sheets, all trimmed with red. On the one wall I had a comfy couch and even a vanity, so the Peterson's must have suggested that they get one, considering my nightly skin care regime. The rest of the house was nice too. It hand a warm and cozy family feel to it, which I haven't felt since I lived with my mother.

"Hey, Kurt, there's cookies!" Finn yelled up the stairs. I put down the book I was reading and ventured to the kitchen, which was amazing. Carole liked to cook, so there were really nice appliances. If I ever felt like baking again, I know I could have fun in there.

Finn had a handful of cookies as he walked out of the room, heading for his room in the basement. I took one off the cooling rack and sat down at the table with Burt and Carole.

"Hey, kiddo." I was a little surprised he was already starting to use those average father- son nicknames. "Like I said, I have some things I want to talk about, but first I want to give you this." He handed me a little cardboard box with ‘Elizabeth' written on the front in sharpie. "When Elizabeth and I were together, I was very in love with her." I wasn't sure why Carole was still here if we were going to talk my mother and his ex- hmm. What were him and my mother anyway? "She was only nineteen, though, and I was 29, so most people looked down upon our relationship. Her family tried to forbid her from seeing me, but she was an adult so she moved in with me. This made them even angrier, so they excommunicated her, and a few days later she disappeared. No one was sure what happened to her, and the police did a horrible investigation, so eventually the town forgot about her. I guess now that she ran away when she found out she was pregnant with you." Wow, I was so not expecting that. "I was still hung up on her until I met Carole two years ago, but I always kept this little box of her more valued things she left behind, just in case she ever came back. Go ahead and open it."

I gently ripped the tape that was holding the box closed, my uneaten cookie lay forgotten next to me. Inside the box was a large collection of index cards, some stained with grease or other mystery oils, a red hair ribbon, and a silver necklace chain.

"These were hers?"

"Yes, those are her recipes, the ribbon from her cheerleading uniform, and the little chain she always wore. Funny thing is, she never put anything on it. Said it was a metaphor."

"A metaphor for what?"

"She never told me. She insisted that one day someone will know what it means, and that person could add charms to it. Frankly, I never quite liked what it stood for, because she always said ‘someone' and not me."

"Thank you."

"No problem. Like I said, I kept them in case she ever came back around, and since she can't, you are the real person who deserves her things. Now, there is still some other stuff we need to talk about."

I just nodded, slightly worried by what ‘other stuff' he wanted to talk about.

"I've talked to the Peterson's quite a bit, and they say you're cyber schooled?" I just nodded my head again. "Well, since it's May you can stay with the school, but starting next year you're going to McKinley, where Finn goes." I just kept nodding my head because I really didn't care if I went to public school. "They also told me that you don't eat a lot because of some stuff that's happened, and you don't have to tell me what the stuff was, but I want you to eat more. You look too thin." So they did tell him. "Also, I'm going to change your last name from Wiley to Hummel, because you're my son, and that's technically how it's supposed to be. Finally, Carole and I just want you to know that even though these circumstances are a little... unusual... we still love you and I am so sorry you had to live such a complicated life. But we're going to make the best of it, and I really hope you can feel at home here.  If I would've known that I had a son I would have taken you in the moment I could, because no one needs to deal with anything like that."

I blinked away a tear. The words were sincere and I could tell that they really did love me. "Thank you, I... thank you."

"Now how about you eat that cookie?" Carole piped in, her cheery voice making me smile.

I ate the cookie, and it was pretty damn good.


	2. Carefully Constructed Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's thoughts are italicized.  
> Dream sequences are bold. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

After a few days of speaking only when necessary and eating as little as possible, Kurt realized that he really was safe from Karofsky.  He completely unpacked all his possessions and moved in. He even took Finn up on an offer to play Mario Kart. Kurt finally felt like he was home. Burt, Carole, and Finn were truly kind and accepting. After a particularly awkward conversation with a naïve Finn who didn’t understand that “I don’t like girls that way” meant that he was gay, Kurt officially came out to his family. He would never get tired of saying family, because for once in seven years, Kurt really had a family.

Now it was August, and in a few short days he would start school at McKinley. Over the summer Kurt had met all of Finn’s New Direction friends, so he was glad to know some people already. Kurt liked Mercedes the most, and they had become very close friends. Kurt also liked Rachel, even if she was a little self-involved and narcissistic. He tried to steer clear of Santana out of all the glee kids because she somehow sensed that he had more of a traumatic past then he was letting on. Due to Finn’s inability to keep his mouth shut, everyone knew that he had become anorexic due to something that happened when he was in foster care. But now he was eating regularly and Kurt assured them that they had nothing to worry about, yet Santana was always prying about his history. Hopefully she would never get it out of him, because if she did, the carefully constructed cage Kurt had made to silence the memories of his haunting past would come crashing down around him, taking any courage and stability he had with it.

* * *

 

Kurt looked at himself in the mirror for the third time that morning. He had changed his outfit completely twice, and now he was making minor changes, but this ensemble looked the best so far. Carole took him shopping a week ago and he redid his whole closet with clothes that really reflected the real him- skinny jeans that looked painted on, eccentric designer pieces, several pairs of boots, lots of unique sweaters and jackets, and never forget the right statement accessories. This was the real him and he let his clothes reflect that, even if his personality was still quite fragile, and the confident air his style radiated was just enough to help him fake that confidence until it was real. But most importantly was what was underneath the many layers; his mother’s necklace chain. Kurt promised to himself that he would let her metaphor live on, and the constant feel of the cool metal on his skin reminded him that she was always there and he was safe now.

As Finn’s car pulled into a parking space, Kurt was jolted from his thoughts. He looked out the passenger window at all the kids dotting the school’s front yard. This was going to be the first time in a very long while that Kurt would be surrounded by so many new people. But he could do this, and after running a hand along his neck where the necklace was, Kurt opened his door and stepped out.

“You can find your way around, right? I have to drop this off in the locker room.” Finn held up his football bag.

“I’ll be fine.” Kurt was lying, but he wasn’t going to be that clingy little brother, even though he was older than Finn.

“Just look out for one of the glee kids if you need help, they’re always around somewhere.”

“Kay. I’ll be fine, Finn. Don’t worry about me.”

“Okay, well, see you at glee then!” With a perky smile Finn jogged over to the athletic entrance where a group of boys all in McKinley football jackets were.

Kurt walked over to the main entrance, careful to keep his head down. He was aware that his unconventional clothing style would stick out, so he anticipated the looks others gave him. But not even ten feet into the building and Kurt’s bitch slapped by an ice cold slushie to the face. Due to the purple dye stinging his eyes he couldn’t catch the face of the jerk who did it, but he heard their voice as it rang in his ears.

“Get back in the closet, faggot!” He brushed the derogatory curses off, but the sound of that person’s voice was familiar.

_It couldn’t be. They live in Arkansas._

“Kurt!” _Oh thank god, it’s Mercede_ s. “Are you okay? Let’s get you cleaned up.” Kurt still couldn’t see, but he let himself be guided into a bathroom by Mercedes, and soon he felt a scratchy paper towel drying off his face and jacket.

“Thank you, Mercedes.”

“Boy, you gotta be careful next time. Never use the main entrance unless you want a daily slushie facial. All the football jerks hang there, but they’re everywhere so always keep your eyes open. And your clothes are fabulous, but maybe tone it down.”

“Why… who would do such a thing?”

“Ignorant jerks, that’s who. Finn and Sam are the only ones on that team you can trust.”

“At least the jacket isn’t designer. Thank you again.”

“No need to thank me. It’s almost time for first period, and you don’t wanna be late on your first day. See you second period at glee practice, okay boy?”

He just nodded his head in agreement. Mercedes left the bathroom and headed to her class, and after Kurt checked himself in the mirror, he scurried to his first class, not bothering to look where he was going because the hallways should’ve been empty. But they weren’t, and Kurt ran right into someone. _Shit, this day is not going so well._

“What the fuck, fag?” _No no no no no. That can’t-_

With a very tentative glance, Kurt was face to face with years of suppressed memories. Karofsky.

“I’m sorry.” _Maybe he forgot he forgot who you were. Keep your head down and leave._

“Holy shit! It’s _the_ fucking fag. You think it’s okay to waltz like a faggy princess into _my_ school? We left you as a skinny dying mess with a couple of old hag’s years ago because you’re a fuck up, and _no one_ likes a fuck up. So stay the fuck away from me, and go kill yourself.” Karofsky took Kurt by the collar of his shirt and shoved him into the wall of lockers.

“And if you ever tell anyone what happened I will hurt you. Got it, queer?”

_This can’t be real. He can’t be here. I’m supposed to be safe here._

Kurt nodded his head, forcing back the tears.

“Then leave me the fuck alone.” Karofsky stormed off in the other direction.

Kurt stood in shock as a few silent tears fell down his face. Then he bolted back into the bathroom. Locking the stall behind him, he waited out first period and let the tears flow. Horrible sobs rang throughout the small room as Kurt continuously rubbed his mother’s necklace around his neck.

_I’m not safe here._

* * *

 

 

“Where’s Kurt? He promised me he would be here!” Finn paced around the choir room, impatiently waiting for Kurt. Glee starts in a minute, but Mr. Schue is always late, so Finn’s freak out could go uninterrupted for another ten minutes.

“Finn, it’s going to be fine. Kurt’s smart, he probably was talking to teachers or went down the wrong hallway. Calm down.” Rachel gently ushered Finn into a chair and soothed him while Quinn glared at them.

“What’s going on?” Mercedes asked as she walked into the choir room.

“It’s Kurt, he hasn’t gotten here yet.” Santana, though trying to hide it, was very stressed out too.

“Oh my god. Are you sure he isn’t just lost?” After what happened this morning, Mercedes started to panic too.

“He promised he would come here as soon as first period ended. We talked about this!” Finn started to pace again, nearly taking Brittany out in his path.

“Do you know what class he was in?” Puck remained calm, but seeing Finn so stressed was frightening.

“Algebra 2 with Mrs. Fulton. It’s only a minute away and he only has to turn once! He isn’t lost. Something happened, and I don’t know what happened, he’s my brother, dude, I can’t let anything happen to him!” Finn snapped at Puck.

“Whoa, calm down, why don’t we go look for him? Mr. Schue won’t mind.”

“I drew this in math.” Brittany showed Santana a crayon drawing of a dolphin. “My dolphin was gone and it was sad.”

“Wait, Britt, what do you mean? Are you in Kurt’s math class?” Everyone’s attention turned to Brittney. Finn practically pounced on her.

“The dolphin was missing.” And with that, Finn was down the hallway in an instant, Puck and Santana on his heels.

“Tell Shue we’ll be back!” Santana called down the hall to Rachel who stood shocked in the doorway. Mercedes came running out of the choir room too, pushing Rachel to the side while she sprinted to catch up.

“Guys, wait! I might know where he is!”

Finn stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, the other two falling into him like dominoes.

“Where?”

“He was slushied this morning by Karofsky. I took him to the empty girl’s bathroom near the main doors. I never checked to see where he went, but that’s where he was last.”

“Karofsky?” Finn was decently good friends with Karofsky, so this was news to him. He was aware of his homophobia, but Kurt was Finn’s brother. Even if he’s just a step-brother, doesn’t Karofsky have any respect?

“It doesn’t matter, let’s go!” Puck pushed forward and three continued their pursuit, detouring down a hidden corridor to make it to the front of the building. Without any care that it was a girl’s bathroom, Finn pounded right through the door.

“Kurt?” He heard a faint sniffle from behind a stall. “Kurt, let me in. What happened?”

“Finn?” Kurt shuffled up and unlocked the door.

With one look at Kurt, something was dead wrong. His clothes were disheveled, his face was red and puffy, his breath was coming out in short, heavy shudders, and his eyes were filled with so much pure terror it was heartbreaking. Kurt tried to step forward, but instead he just fell into Finn’s arms, severely shaking.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Santana’s face went white when she saw Kurt’s back. His shirt was rucked up, and on his skin there were deep textured imprints, some bleeding.

In between whimpers, Kurt let out a breathy “Karofsky.”

“Let’s get him back to the choir room.” Puck said as he helped hold Kurt up. They half carried/ supported Kurt down the hallway, and when they got back, everyone scrambled to help at the sight of the broken down boy. They go him into a chair quickly and Rachel had him sip some water.

“What happened?” Tina asked, who was mostly unaware of the situation. Mr. Schuester was still nowhere to be seen, but she, Mike, and Artie where there now.

“Karofsky did something to him! The fucking bastard!” Santana was officially losing her cool. “I’m gonna go all Lima Heights on his ass, he won’t be able to tell up from down!” Santana started for the door, but Mike and Puck held her back. “La maldita perra necesita morir [the fucking bitch needs to die]!”

“Calm down Santana. You’re not helping anything.” Quinn said from her chair in the back of the room. She was the only one who hadn’t moved to help Kurt, even Artie was helping, though his wheel chair was getting in the way.

Eventually Kurt was able to calm down enough to speak clearly. “He, he threw me into the lockers.”

“Why the hell would he do that?! You never did anything!” The betrayal was starting to sit with Finn now, and he not like it.

“Yes I did.”

“No, Kurt, You’re not the one at fault here. Never think that.” Rachel ran her fingers through Kurt’s hair while she and Mercedes held him.

“But… I… I did. He knows me.”

“What the fuck?” Finn was utterly confused. So many different things were running through his head and he was still high on adrenaline.

“He was my foster brother.” Kurt said quietly.

Finn stood up so quickly that his chair upended beneath him, knocking over two others. “HE WAS WHAT?! WHY THE FUCK DID HE DO THIS?!”

“Because I’m gay.” Kurt whispered, barely audible.

“THAT HOMOPHOBIC BASTARD!”

“What is going on in here? Finn, I can hear you down the hallway.” Mr. Schue came in looking pissed, but his expression changed once he saw Kurt. “What happened?”

“Karofsky threw him into the lockers. Apparently he was once Kurt’s foster brother.”

Mr. Schue remained in his spot near the piano for nearly a minute, still processing everything. He didn’t even know the boy, all he knew was that Finn asked if Kurt could join as a special favor due to ‘circumstances’ that Finn wouldn’t tell him. Once words were capable of being formed, Schue asked, “Is he hurt? We need to get him to the nurse, he might be shock. Should I call Ms. Pillsbury, or his dad, or the principal?”

“No, I’m… I’m fine. This is nothing compared to…”

“Compared to what, Kurt?” Santana was waiting for this. For a little clue that proved her theories right.

“Nothing.” Kurt insisted, sitting up in his chair, rubbing the tears from his eyes. He went to sit back in his seat, but jolted forwarded in pain. _Damn, that really hurts._

“Kurt, what did he do to you?” Santana was not giving this up.

“Nothing! Let’s just start or whatever. I’m fine, my back’s fine, and I am not in shock. Don’t call anyone. Bullies are bullies, I get that and I can deal with it.” Everyone watched Kurt for a minute to see if he really was okay, even though it was painfully obvious it wasn’t. But they continued with glee club anyway, and the whole time Kurt was playing with the silver necklace chain around his neck, while Santana intently studied him.

* * *

 

Kurt had been at McKinley for a whole two weeks now, and the bullying just intensified. There were a few occasions where Santana had to be restrained in the hallway because she witnessed it, but Kurt could tolerate it. He found that your eyes adjust to the sting of artificial dye over time and it stops hurting as much. His back got its consistent deal of bruises and cuts from the lockers and dumpsters, but Kurt could manage the pain. At least, that’s what he told himself.

Very quickly Kurt was falling back into his anorexia. Sometimes someone would notice he wasn’t eating at lunch and they would force him to eat, but that just made Kurt spend more time in the empty girl’s bathroom during lunch so he could avoid everyone. Another result of the bullying that Kurt wouldn’t admit to was the nightmares. He would be taunted by re-livings of his past when he closed his eyes, so Kurt would try to stay awake as long as possible, but sometimes he succumbed to the horror.

**“No! NO! GET Ofghhh.” A hand smothered Kurt’s mouth as he tried to squirm away from the dark figure holding him there.**

**“Shut up, queer.” The shadow’s hand raked over Kurt’s slim figure roughly, slowly making their way to his crotch.**

**“Mrpppphhhh!” Kurt tried to scream when the hand over his mouth was replaced with the cloudy shapes lips.**

**“You say one word and you’ll regret living.” Said the outline as he turned Kurt around and forced him to bend over.**

**Tears cascaded down Kurt’s face as the shady mass defiled him.**

Kurt bolted up in his bed, sweating and shaking. _It’s just a nightmare._

* * *

 

For once Kurt was able to walk down the hallway without running into Karofsky. He knew he was around somewhere because he could sense it, but that didn’t stop Kurt from walking with his head up for once. Then Kurt was grabbed at from behind and pulled into a dark empty classroom.

“Wha- NO! HELP!” Kurt tried to scream but his mouth was muffled by Karofsky’s hand.

“You tell anyone or say anything, and _I will kill you_. Down, on your knees.”

“No, please!”

“Shut the fuck up unless you want to die.”

So Kurt kneeled, his eyes shut tight. _This is just another nightmare._

Karofsky undid his belt and forcefully pushed himself into Kurt’s mouth. Kurt tried his best not to throw up because he knew what would happen if he did.

_This cannot be real. I can’t be here right now. Help! Oh my god, help, someone, please. Get him away from me!_

Kurt was glad when it was over. Karofsky was gone in seconds and Kurt ran to the nearest bathroom to throw up, violently. After 10 minutes or so, Kurt was barely able to pick himself up from the floor and make it to the sink without falling because he was shaking so much. But after he splashed lots of cold water on his face, Kurt was able to drag himself to his next class. If he made it there intact.

In the hallway there was a gang of football players, and Karofsky was in the back. _What’s happening?_

“Hey princess, let’s walk.” One of the taller boys grabbed him by the arm and shoved him toward the doors that led to the far side of the field. _This is not going to end well._

He walked forward and hoped that today wouldn’t be the day he died. Then someone grabbed him by the back of his jacket and threw him against a nearby tree. “I’m tired of this fag, aren’t you too?” one of the football players asked the other. And then everything went black.

The one boy had punched him square in the temple, causing him to fall to the ground unconscious. That didn’t stop them though, and they kicked him over and over until they could see his blood on their shoes. Content with what they did, the crowd left him for dead on the ground. But Karofsky lingered behind, and when Kurt slowly came to, he grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the tree.

“Got it fag? Don’t come back here, because if you do, I won’t hesitate to send them after you again, and again, and again.” He pulled a switchblade from his pocket, and Kurt’s eyes bugged out in fear. “ _No one_ will ever love you. And if someone tries to, I won’t mind killing them too.” Karofsky ran the blade down Kurt’s face lightly, not leaving a mark, but putting enough pressure to prove his point. _He really will kill me._ “You are a worthless piece of used trash. Go kill yourself.” Karofsky left Kurt against the tree, not looking back once. Kurt fell back to the ground, traumatized. He fiercely gripped at his mother’s necklace and convulsed in pain, sobbing quietly.


	3. Make It Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's thoughts are italicized  
> Blaine's thoughts are italicized and underlined.  
> Lyrics are bold. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_Where the fuck am I?_

Kurt’s eyes fluttered open and he groggily took in his surroundings. He went to sit up, but a forceful jolt of pain sent him back to the ground.

_Ow, okay that hurts._

Kurt was outside, and once his vision stopped blurring in and out of focus, he was able to make out the goal post. He was on the football field.

_Why am I here?_

Then it all came flashing back; the dark classroom, the jocks in the hallway, the walk to the tree, a fist headed right for his face. Then there was Karofsky’s hand around his throat, a horrifying threat, and a blade on his face. 

“Shit.” He whined as he pushed himself up to sit against the tree. Kurt pulled out his phone, which was surprisingly undamaged in his back pocket, and checked the time. He was on his was to AP European History when Karofsky… Kurt heaved up the last of his stomach’s contents at the thought of what happened.

Now it was 2:25, so he missed all of last period, but if he was fast enough he could still make it to the bathroom and get cleaned up before he had to meet Finn at his car.

_Okay, I can do this. Let’s just hope I didn’t break anything._

He slowly moved his legs and it didn’t hurt too much. It was his chest that hurt with every breath. Kurt reluctantly pressed on his ribs to see if they were broken.

_Oh thank God nothing’s broken._

With a deep breath, he pushed himself up to stand. Clinging on to the tree desperately, Kurt waited for the earth to stop spinning, and when it did, he stumbled to the nearest set of doors and made a b-line for the bathroom.

One quick glance at himself in the mirror and Kurt knew it was going to take a lot to persuade Finn that nothing happened. There was a bruise forming on his forehead and quite a few on his arms. He didn’t dare lift up his shirt to see what his chest looked like, but there were a few spots where the blood was already seeping through. But after carefully adjusting his hair to cover most of the bruise and a few mints to cover up the vomit smell of his breath, Kurt made his way to Finn’s car.

“Hey Kurt! Have a nice- What happened? Was it Karofsky?”

“No, Finn, I’m fine. Just a little incident in gym class. I’m not really dodge ball material.”

“You’re lying.” Finn was so not buying Kurt’s pathetic excuse, even though it was quite true.

“No, I’m fine. Just drop it. Okay?”

“Seriously dude?” Finn was a little agitated that Kurt wouldn’t tell him what happened.

“Yes. Now drive.”

* * *

 

Once he was safely in his room, Kurt looked at the cuts and bruises that patterned his chest and back. There were several dark bruises everywhere, lots of small cuts, and many deep gashes that were seeping blood. And as always there were the scars. Most were recent and scabbing, but farther down near his hip was a long white scar that brought back terrifying memories anytime Kurt saw it. It was a scratch mark from Karofsky’s nail that he put there that first night when Paul was working late. Kurt was only 12.

He shook the memories off, deciding to take a shower to wash off the blood.

“What the hell are those Kurt?” He jumped back at his father’s sudden anger.

_Shit, I left the door open._

Burt stared at his son’s skinny battered torso. “Who did this to you?”

“No one…”

“Kurt.”

“The bullies at school.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?! I knew about the slushies and locker shoves, and I can’t do anything about that. But this,” He gestured to Kurt “Is assault. I need names, Kurt, who did this?” Burt was desperately trying to control his anger and frustration.

“I can’t dad. It’s okay, I’m fine.” The same automatic excuses.

“No, Kurt. You’re not fine. Someone hurt you and I need to know who.”

“I really can’t tell you. It’s not that bad.”

“Fine. But I’m pulling you out of that school right now.”

“No! I can deal with this. Just don’t take me from my friends. I can’t lose them.”

“No. This is final.”

“Please!”

But Burt just walked out of the room. Kurt slammed the door and locked himself in there for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

Sometime later there was a knock on his door.

“Kurt?” It was Finn.

“What?” There was a slight agitation in his voice, but Kurt felt bad about what he did to Finn. Earlier he heard Finn being interrogated by Burt and Carole about what happened, but he really didn’t know anything. (Kurt had sworn him to secrecy about Karofsky, threatening to tell Burt and Carole that half the time Finn said he was going to Puck’s to spend the night, he was really going to Rachel’s.) So Finn had to sit through a long lecture about being a man.

“I made you a grilled cheese. You don’t have to eat it, but you missed dinner, and I would be really hungry if I missed dinner.” He slid a grilled cheese on a napkin under the door. “I’m really sorry Kurt.”

“I know Finn. Thank you.” Kurt got up and took the sandwich out from under the door. He wasn’t going to eat it, but the sincerity in gesture was endearing.

“Burt’s coming upstairs right now, so, yeah. You’re welcome dude.”

Kurt heard Finn walk away followed by more steps up to his door.

“Kurt, I know you’re mad so I’ll let you lock yourself up in there, but tomorrow we are talking about this. I do have a key for that door. I pulled you out of McKinley and Carole and I found this school that we really like.” He slipped a little booklet under the door. “Please read through that. They have a great no bullying policy and you can be safe there.”

“Fine, dad.”

“Goodnight Kurt.”

“Night dad.” Kurt said with less irritability as he had his rested his forehead on the door.

“Night dude!” He heard Finn yell from somewhere.

“Tell Finn and Carole I said goodnight too.”

“Will do kiddo.”

Kurt knew his dad was only doing what was best for him, but he still felt like he was being abandoned. He looked down at the pamphlet. In big bold letters it read ‘Dalton Academy’.

* * *

 

“Kurt, wake up honey.” Carole’s soothing words floated through his ears as he woke up from a dreamless sleep.

“Huh?” He blinked and rubbed the crust from his eyes. There was a plate of pancakes on his lap and orange juice on the side table.

“I brought you some breakfast. Finn already left for school so there is plenty.” Carole was at the side of his bed and Burt was sitting on the couch across from the bed, also eating pancakes.

“I’ll leave you two to talk then. If you need anything, let me know.” Carole picked up the uneaten grilled cheese from last night off his desk and left.

Kurt picked around the food on his plate. _They smell so good. But I can’t eat._

“Kurt, I want you to eat. I’ve noticed how you’re eating less again and it’s worrying me. I promised that you wouldn’t have to tell me why, and I stick to my promises, but if you ever want to tell me I’m all ears. I don’t know who or what worked it into your mind that you can’t, but please eat.   

 _Ugh. Fine._   Kurt took a little bite.

“Good. Now we need to talk about that school.” He gestured at the booklet that lay discarded at Kurt’s feet. He read through the whole thing maybe three times last night. It all seemed too good to be true at first, until he saw how far away it was. Westerville was a good two hours away and the tuition was steep.

“Westerville is so far away, dad. I can’t drive two hours to school every day, and boarding hikes up the price by a few thousand dollars. Where do you think you think you’ll get all that money from?! A tree?”

Burt chuckled a little. It was great to see Kurt throwing humor around like his normal self. “I guess you didn’t see what I highlighted. There’s this thing they have called the ‘Dalton Outreach Scholarship’ for kids that want to enroll from far away. Lima’s out of the district so you could qualify for it as long as you keep your grades up.”

“How much does it pay for?”

“With financial aid added in, it could pay for all of it. But the tuition doesn’t bother me. I want to know if you liked what you saw. It looks so safe from all the pictures and they have zero tolerance for bullying. It’s just what you need.”

Kurt knew how this conversation was going to end. It was a trap, and no matter what he said, there was a high likelihood that he was going to the school.

“What I need is friends, dad. And I have friends at McKinley. By sending me there you’re just taking away me away from the only ones I’ve ever had.”

“You can still come home on the weekends and see them then. Not to mention all the great kids they have there. Manners and tradition are values they instill in all the boys there.”

“Weekends?”

“Yeah, boarding is part of the scholarship.”

“So you just want to send me away like everyone else?”

“No Kurt. I’m doing this because I love you and I want the best for you. Even if it means having to spend less time with you.”

Kurt knew that his dad was right and his intentions were pure, but Karofsky’s words just rang in his ears. ‘You’re a fuck up. And _no one_ likes a fuck up.’

“No!”

“Kurt, I don’t like this attitude. I really wanted to give you a little say in the matter, but if you’re going to act like this I might not.”

“Fine then!”

“Okay! I will!”

Needless to say, Kurt locked himself in his room for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

Later that day Kurt woke up from a nap when he heard Finn come home. Around the middle of the day he heard Burt on the phone with Dalton setting up a meeting regarding class scheduling and a session with the uniform tailor. Since the transfer was final, he texted Finn at lunch asking him if he could break the news to the New Directions. So he spent the day waiting for Finn to come home and tell him what their reactions were.

“Kurt?” Finn called up the stairs.

Kurt opened his door and traveled to the top of the stairs, looking down at Finn… and Santana.

“Uh, Santana wants to talk to you quickly. The others are going to call later, but she demanded to see you in person.”

_Shit. Will she ever give up on this?_

“Okay.”

“C’mon lady Hummel, lets chat outside.” Santana headed for the door and Kurt followed.

“What do you want?” He asked, even though he had a pretty good idea what she wanted.

“I want to know what the fuck Karofsky did to you.”

“I’m not telling you that.”

“But he did something.”

“Not saying.”

“Kurt, he did something to you that seriously screwed you up. He was your fucking foster brother, and from what I’ve been able to find, you were with him and his dad for 5 years. Then you randomly become anorexic ‘because of school’? I don’t buy that shit.”

“You dug into my child services files?!” She was crazier that he thought.

“I do my research, don’t act so surprised. I want to know the real reason why you stopped eating.”

“I said I’m not telling you.”

“Jesus fuck, work with me please.” She sat on the stoop of the front porch. “You were a really great person when I first met you, Kurt. But then you run into him in the hallway and you become someone totally different. That day in the bathroom, your eyes were filled with so much panic and mortification. It was like… you just saw death.” Everything suddenly clicked. The only time she saw eyes look like that was right before her little sister died in her arms. “He threatened to kill you. Didn’t he?”

Kurt couldn’t answer. How did she figure it out?

“Oh my fucking god, Kurt, you have to do something about this! Why the fuck would he threaten to kill you?”

“I… Don’t tell ANYONE. Not Finn, my dad, Mr. Schue, anyone. And he has his reasons.”

“That bitch! Why, Kurt, why… what the fuck is his problem?!”

“I can’t tell you! Okay? This is why I didn’t tell anyone, among other reasons. If you want _me_ to be safe, don’t go all psycho-bitch when you see him, _or he will literally kill me_. I’m going to be safe at this new school as long as he doesn’t know where I am. Got it?”

“ _Fine._ ” She spat the word out, outraged that anyone would think that it’s okay to hurt Kurt.

“Is that all?” Kurt got up and went to the door, completely composed and normal, as if nothing happened.

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll miss you, Kurt.” She looked at him straight in the eye, trying to find out anything else. It was rare that she would ever show even a little bit of emotion, even something as simple as an ‘I’ll miss you.’

“I will miss you too, Santana. And everyone else as well. Tell them I’ll be fine, okay?”

“Sure thing lady Hummel.”

And with that, Santana left. But she had no intentions of not telling anyone. Someone had to know. So she went to the first person that made sense. Puck. She filled him in on everything and his reactions were much like her own. After a while of spit balling reasons why Karofsky would want to kill Kurt, they came to a consensus. They would continue trying to figure out what Karofsky did, and once they found out from Kurt specifically what happened, they were going to get their own justice.

* * *

 

Kurt looked up at the massive wrought iron gate that barred entrance into Dalton Academy unless you were cleared by the gate keeper. The gate looked like it belonged at the entrance to Paramount studios, not a boarding school. The whole place was enclosed in a fancy fence, but the gate was just… wow. No doubt about it, Kurt would really be safe here.

“Just take the first left and follow the road to the back parking lot.” The guard said to Burt as the magnificent gates began to slowly open. “Here’s your parking ticket; the car is assigned to space number 72.” Burt took the little sticker and handed it over to Kurt as they drove through onto the campus.

Once the school came into view, Kurt was breathless. The school was a stately brick mansion that seemed to stretch out forever. The very front of the building was two stories with an elegant balcony, and the rest was just one floor except in the back where he assumed the auditorium was. They pulled into a parking lot and Kurt could see the dorms. They were evenly spread out in a half circle around an oval shaped field with a decorative fountain in the center. The three buildings were equal in size and splendor, the architecture similar to that of the school. According to the map the house furthest away, Maxwell it was called, was going to be his. Most students that made it in on the scholarship were in this dorm along with all the seniors because the dorms were all singles. If Kurt ever joined the glee club here, the Warblers, he would have to move to the special Warbler dormitory and Kurt really didn’t feel like doing that.

“Let’s try and get all of your stuff in one trip because it’s a long walk over there.” Burt said as he stepped out of the driver’s side. “Finn, c’mere and help with two of the boxes.” Finn had followed them here because they took Kurt’s new car to get here and Burt would need a way to get back. 

“This place is like a castle!” Finn marveled.

“Yes, Finn, now help me carry this.” Kurt dropped two boxes in his arms. Kurt wheeled along two suitcases and Burt carried another two boxes. This was all Kurt was bringing because he wanted to keep most of his stuff at home for when he visited on the weekends.

After a struggle to close the lift gate, they eventually started on the cobblestone path towards Maxwell house. Kurt was just reaching for the door handle when a handsome brunette stopped him. “Can I help you?” He side stepped the three and stood protectively in front of the door.

“Uh, I’m new. This is Maxwell house right?” Kurt double checked the plaque that adorned the side of the building.

“Oh, you must be Kurt. I’m Sebastian.” The two boys shook hands but Sebastian didn’t move from his spot. “I can help with your stuff. It’s study hour right now and if you interrupt them there will be quite a deal of frustrated teens telling you to be quiet. Midterms for the seniors are coming up soon. So let’s take the back door.” He rerouted them around the side of the building where a utility door was. “This leads right to the second floor where the dorms are. I can take those boxes.” Sebastian took two of the boxes from Finn and headed inside for the stairs. “We can get the suitcases on our second trip, Kurt.” And he disappeared.

“Wow. He’s… helpful.” Kurt was a little surprised by how nice this random boy was treating him.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave. I’m gonna miss you Kurt.” Burt placed his two boxes on the ground next to him and wrapped an arm around Kurt. “Call me every night, okay? And I expect you to be home around noon on Saturday.”

“Okay dad.” Kurt smiled into Burt’s shoulder.

Kurt then went over to Finn and hugged him too. “I’m going to miss you too Finn. Make sure Santana doesn’t do something crazy because we all know she will.”

“Got it little bro.”

“I’m older than you.”

“Nope. You’re shorter than me so you are still little bro.”

“Oh whatever.” Kurt went to pick up his suitcase. Sebastian had already gone back up the stairs with the other two boxes

“See ya, dude!”

“Bye!”

Kurt watched as Burt and Finn went back around the house and started down the path.

“Let’s get the rest of the stuff upstairs. You have the key so all your stuff is just sitting outside your door.” He turned around to see Sebastian waiting with one of Kurt’s suitcases, slightly annoyed. Kurt knew it was too good to be true. _Of course it was just an act._

“Okay.”

Sure enough, all his stuff was haphazardly stacked in front of a door. He dug into his pocket for the key they had given him. “Dinner is at six in the cafeteria. Just use the student entrance to the school to get there, or eat whatever we have in cupboards in the kitchen downstairs. I’m the house prefect, so if you have any problems, just tell me. But I would prefer if you figure them out on your own. Got it?”

“Sure.” Kurt replied as he shoved his key into the door. He heard Sebastian walk away behind him. _I hope they’re not all pompous asses like him._

He fumbled to get all his stuff inside, but once it was, Kurt flopped down onto the bed. His dorm wasn’t that bad. There was no windows, but it had a decent amount of space and an en suite.

For the rest of the day Kurt was either unpacking or on the phone with his friends reassuring them that he was settling in okay. When dinner time rolled around he heard the bell but didn’t get up to leave. He had no interest in trying to find a seat surrounded by strangers. He also had no interest in eating, but his stomach was making horrible growling noises, so once he thought everyone had left, he ventured to the common room.

What he saw startled him. What Kurt thought would be comfy couches and lounge space, was essentially a library. The walls were lined with bookshelves and there were more in the center of the room. Other than that there were four groups of tables and a tiny kitchen shoved off in a corner. _Is this house full of a bunch of boring snobs?_ Kurt weaved his way through the books to the kitchen and rummaged around through the cabinets. Most of the stuff was vegan or some fancy all natural brand, but he eventually found a can of soup that looked okay. While it cooked on the stove he perused the shelves to find that all the books were extremely boring. They were all textbooks and SAT prep workbooks. There was even a section of med school books, but not a single novel anywhere. _Yup. Boring snobs._ So Kurt took his soup to his room without any intention of spending time with the uppity snots of Maxwell House.

* * *

 

Kurt had been at Dalton for three days now. Turns out that he most of the brats in Maxwell were in his classes, so he ignored them and they overlooked him. For the first two days it worked pretty well, but slowly Kurt was becoming more and more lonely. His strategy had back-fired and now Kurt was essentially invisible. During lunch he sat an empty table in the far reaches of the cafeteria and studied. The classes were a lot harder than Kurt had anticipated, and he had a lot of make-up work, even though it was only the third week of September. The books in the Maxwell commons would definitely help him, but Kurt avoids that room like the plague. It’s always filled with an eerie silence that Kurt couldn’t stand.

So Kurt passes his time in his room, but all the alone time was really getting to him. The nightmares were back and as a result he stopped eating again. The whole house was constantly filled with a strange silence. You could hear people walking around and the occasional hushed conversation about homework, but it was as if they were all ghosts. Life was simply missing from the Maxwell House. No matter how loud the music in his earbuds were, the ominous silence of always floated upstairs like a poisonous gas and horrible thoughts always came back to Kurt.

He tried to ignore them, push them aside for later contemplation, or rationalize them away. But the thoughts were a persistent jabbering in the back of his mind. But one phrase was always there. ‘Go kill yourself.’

“Ughh!” He exclaimed, throwing a dull pencil to the side. Kurt had been reduced to scribbling little tornadoes on the side of his homework as his mind was in a state of turmoil.

“I need to get out of here.” _But where the fuck do I go?_

Kurt looks around to find the campus map tucked under a stack of books. He pulls it out, nearly smashing his fingers because of the weight of the textbooks. He had been considering checking out the rose garden hidden away on the far side of the campus but he didn’t feel like walking all the way over there. _The library!_ Kurt had passed by the library a few times, and it always seemed completely empty, so he might as well give it a try.

Kurt packed his books up into a fashionable messenger bag and set out for the library. There was no librarian in sight when he got there, but instead a little self-checkout station that had a thin layer of dust on it. He started going through the shelves and noticed that they all were covered in a little dust, some books more than others. But that didn’t spoil Kurt’s trip. He had only been there for five minutes and he was already in love. The silence wasn’t odd and he didn’t feel alone. The room was full of characters and stories that were dying to be discovered and he could easily loose himself in one of the plush couches with a good novel in hand. So that’s what he did.

* * *

 

“STOP!” Kurt yelled, falling off his bed with a thud.

There was a loud “shh” from another student on the floor and an angry knock on the wall from his neighbor. But that didn’t help Kurt come out of his nightmare. He might have been awake now, but unlike the other times he couldn’t shake the feelings off of him. He could still feel the forceful hands on his hips, a nail digging into his side. Then there was a horribly familiar taste in his mouth, causing him to bolt into the bathroom and retch into the toilet, yet his stomach was so empty nothing came out. He just hung over the toilet, hoping the nightmare would be over, but he was still reliving it. He _needed_ to get away. So he crabbed his phone and bolted from the room to the only place he could think of.

\---

Kurt was frantically pacing around the abandon library, tears streaming down his face, occasionally stopping to brace onto a shelf as the more graphic scenes replayed itself in his mind. Every so often he would mutter a helpless plea for the torture to stop.

\---

He had been in the library for about an hour, the traumatic hallucinations still continuing. But now they were coupled with a repetitive chant of “go kill yourself” in his mind. _Is there any other way to stop this?_

* * *

 

 

Blaine was passing by the library in a desperate rush for the cafeteria. He had gotten so caught up in a Mario Kart tournament with Jeff that he missed dinner. The cafeteria was open until seven, an hour before curfew, and he was really pushing it. Blaine could’ve made his own food, but like the rest of the warblers, he really had no domestic skills. The last time he tried to make canned soup he nearly blew up the microwave. Apparently you can’t microwave a tin can.

Something caught his eye as he speed walked by the normally desolate library. _Who the fuck still uses the library?_

Blaine tentatively approached the godforsaken place, and indeed, someone was there. “Jesus Christ that boy’s gorgeous.” Blaine thought audibly as he saw the mystery boy pace around the library. _Wait. Is he crying?_

Blaine caught a glimpse of the boy’s face; it was all red and puffy, glistening with tears. He was clinging to a shelf in what looked like intense pain. _Something’s really wrong._ Blaine had never seen someone so distressed, so he rushed over to the boy.

“Hey… hey. Are you okay?” _No he’s not dumbass._

The boy didn’t even recognize that Blaine had spoken to him, and instead fell to floor, pulling his knees to his chest. Blaine immediately knelt down next him. The boy didn’t seem to be physically injured. He cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder, but all the boy did was flinch, still not recognizing Blaine’s presence. “Make it stop.” The words were barely whispered, but Blaine still heard them.

“It’s okay, what’s wrong? Hey, hey there. I’m Blaine. Can you hear me?” But he still didn’t respond, so Blaine started to sing.

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

Kurt’s eyes snap open to the sight of a beautiful dark haired boy singing to him.

**I'll be the one, if you want me to**

**Anywhere I would've followed you**

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

So Kurt started to sing.

**And I am feeling so small**

**It was over my head**

**I know nothing at all**

**And I will stumble and fall**

**I'm still learning to love**

**Just starting to crawl**

The boy picked up where Kurt left off at the chorus.

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

**I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

**Anywhere I would've followed you**

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

Kurt continued at his part, keeping up the duet as their voices harmonized beautifully.

**And I will swallow my pride**

**You're the one that I love**

**And I'm saying goodbye**

Kurt stood up and took a few steps to the door, the singing boy following him, something more frantic in his voice as he started the final round of the chorus.

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

**And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

**And anywhere I would've followed you**

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

As the song was starting to end, Kurt picked up the pace as he made his way to the exit. _I need to stop the pain. I need to die. I can’t let anyone else love me._

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

**Say something...** Kurt sprinted down the long hallway and out the door, running to his dorm as he surrendered to Karofsky and decided to kill himself, ignoring the sound of footsteps chasing after him.


	4. This Sad Broken Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's thought's are italicized.  
> Blaine's thoughts are italicized and underlined.  
> Song lyrics are bold.

“Stop! Please stop running, I’m not going to hurt you!” Blaine yelled after the boy as he chased him down the path and into Maxwell house. But Blaine had fallen behind and once he burst through the doors the other boy was gone.

“Intruder!” One of the Maxwell snobs shouted as Blaine stopped in the entrance. Blaine was slightly confused as to why the Maxwell commons looked like a library.

“Oh fuck off.” Blaine disregarded the angry students and marched right up to former Warbler Sebastian.

“Blaine. How can I help you? You do realize this isn’t the Warbler house right? Or are you finally taking me up on my offer?” Sebastian asked coolly, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Where did that boy go?”

“Who? You mean Kurt? Oh, he’s no one.” Said another kid sitting to Sebastian’s right.

“What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you just ignore everyone? Something’s wrong and you don’t care! Just tell me what dorm he’s in!” Blaine was getting antsy. There was a horrible feeling in his gut telling him to find that boy, Kurt. Blaine banged his fist on the table, frustrated.

“Calm it Anderson. He’s in room seven.” Blaine was off in an instant, weaving through the shelves and up the stairs to Kurt’s dorm. He didn’t bother to knock and rushed through the door.

Kurt was nowhere in the room. “Kurt?” He heard a strangled sob cry out in the bathroom. He scrambled to the door, glad it wasn’t locked, and found Kurt leaning against the wall holding a knife, point fixed over his heart. “NO! STOP!” He lunged at the ground toward Kurt, reaching for the knife.

Kurt simply dropped it to the floor and started crying, curling up into Blaine’s arms. “I wanted it to stop.” He moaned.

“It’s okay, just breathe.” Blaine held the weeping boy and rubbed his back. “What needs to stop?”

“Get him off of me.” Kurt curled up even more if it was possible. He was clutching his legs to his chest, head buried in his knees.

“It’s just me, Blaine. No one is going to hurt you. You’re safe.” _This sad broken boy. Who would harm such a beautiful person?_

Kurt frantically grasped at his neck, feeling for the necklace. “Make it stop.” He whined again. The flashback episodes still weren’t stopping.

Blaine knew there was only one way to make it stop. So he sang the song his mother would sing to him when he was sick.

**Just thinkin' about tomorrow**

**Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow 'til there's none**

**When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely**

**I just stick up my chin and grin and say**

**The sun will come out tomorrow**

**So you gotta hang on**

**'til tomorrow, come what may!**

**Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow**

**You're always a day away!**

**When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely**

**I just stick up my chin and grin and say**

**The sun will come out tomorrow**

**So you got to hang on 'til tomorrow, come what may!**

**Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow**

**You're always a day away**

**Tomorrow, tomorrow I love ya tomorrow**

**You're always a day away**

* * *

 

 

The tears and flashbacks had stopped and Kurt was feeling marginally safer. He looked up at the person who was holding him. _He saved my life._

“You… thank you.” Kurt wasn’t sure how to go about this. He was cuddled up in another boys arms and, oh god, he left a big wet splotch on his shirt from his tears.

“It’s okay. I… do you wanna go sit down and talk or something?” Blaine was getting a little flustered.

“Yeah.” Kurt got up, a little unsteady on his feet, and led Blaine to his bed. _Awkward._

“I uh, I’m Blaine.” 

“Kurt.” They shook hands, not making the situation any less awkward by formally introducing themselves.

“I feel like I should tell someone, but I… I don’t really know what to do. You were just about to…”

“No. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Well we can’t just forget about it. Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?” Blaine scooted up on Kurt’s bed, moving to sit cross-legged.

“I don’t know. I woke up from a nightmare, but it didn’t stop.”

“What was the nightmare about?” Blaine asked he wasn’t asking too much.

“It was more of a flashback. But that’s all I can say.” Kurt tentatively looked up at Blaine. His face was full of worry and fear.

“Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. But really, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t there.”

“Let’s not think of what ifs. Do you… do the people here just ignore you?”

“Yes. But they’re a bunch of snobs so I ignore them too.” He let out a weak laugh.

“Doyouwannagotomydorm?” Blaine rattled off. _This is awkward. I’m awkward. Jesus Christ I am so screwed. That just sounded all kinds of messed up._

“What?”

“Do you maybe want to go back to the Warbler house with me? I just don’t want you to be alone and all the guys there are awesome and I think it would just be a safer idea.” Blaine asked, still talking unbelievably fast.

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“Well I don’t want to be alone either. So yeah.”

“Okay, I wasn’t expecting a yes, but if we wanna make curfew we have to go now.” Blaine checked the time on his phone, 7:57.

“Let’s take the back door. I don’t feel like dealing with Sebastian right now.”

“Ha, yeah. I don’t either.”

The two boys quietly slipped out the back door quietly, keeping to the trail as they walked to the Warbler house. They never said a word and instead kept to their thoughts. Blaine was busy trying to figure out the best way to tell his friends about Kurt without them getting the wrong idea. Kurt was still in shock about everything. But what perplexed him the most was the fact that he started to sing. Kurt hadn’t sang since his mother was alive. Even at glee club, Kurt just sat there as an observer. He only was a part of the club because Finn and his friends were there. But something in Blaine just made Kurt forget all about that.

* * *

 

They arrived at the Warbler house just as the bell for 8:00 curfew rang. Blaine opened the large doors and let Kurt go in first, being as gentleman-like as possible. The warbler common room was about the same size as the one in Maxwell, but it looked much different. Kurt felt comforted just by looking at it. Dead center was a large grand piano, to his left was a large comfy couch and another one diagonally across the room. To his left was a few circular tables and three or four bookshelves, and in the far left hand corner was the kitchen and dining room area, along with a door. _Where does that door go to? There isn’t one in the Maxwell commons._

A group of boys were clustered around something wedged between the two stair cases. “Hey guys, what’s up?” Blaine walked over to them and Kurt followed, lagging behind a bit.

“We got a fish!” A tall blonde kid said excitedly. “Like a real live fish! In water!”

“Cool. What’s its name?”

“I want to name it Winston, but Nick thinks that it’s a Riccardo.” The blonde kid continued.

“Jeff, he’s totally named Oliver.” Another student added.

“Thad’s right. As Warbler house prefect, I hereby name the fish Oliver.” Blaine said, a little dramatically.

“That’s just because- who’s the new kid?” Jeff asked, the fish totally forgotten.

“Uh, this is Kurt, from Maxwell.”

When Blaine said Maxwell Jeff took an exaggerated step back. “Are you sure he’s not a spy?” Jeff was now hiding behind Nick.

“Jeff you’re being rude.” Scolded an Asian kid who was watching the scene unfold from the top of the stairs. “But I would like to know why you brought a Maxwell boy back.”

“Kurt’s not a spy, and the pompous Maxwell asses were treating him like crap. I met him in the library, and he can really sing, so I thought maybe he could just hang here for a bit.”

 “You should join the Warblers! Anyone who can sing and hates the Maxwell jerks belong here with us.” Jeff walked over to Kurt. “I’m Jeff. That’s Nick, Thad, David, and Wes.” He pointed out each of his fellow Warblers as he excitedly shook Kurt’s hand. “And you’ve already met Blaine.” He added flirtatiously with a wink. “Can you sing for us?!”

All of Jeff’s energy was a little surprising to Kurt, who just stood there silently. He had no intentions of ever joining the Warblers, and now he was being asked to sing. In front of people. Kurt was still trying to comprehend how he sang with Blaine.

“Calm down Jeff. I’m going to show Kurt my room and let him decide what he wants to do.”

“Alright then, you two do that. Just keep it down, okay? The walls are thin.” Thad teased, and Blaine just glared at him over his shoulder as he led Kurt to his room.

“Sorry about that, Jeff and Thad can get ahead of themselves sometimes. You can use the extra bed tonight since I don’t have a roommate.” Blaine walked over to his dresser while Kurt looked around, and sure enough, only half the room looked lived in.

“You have a whole double room to yourself?”

“Yeah, prefect privilege. But it gets lonely in here so I spend most of my time downstairs. You can wear my pajamas, unless that’s weird.”

“All normal boundaries were erased when I _cuddled_ in your arms. So no, it’s not weird.”

“Aw, don’t say that. You needed comforting. I’m always willing to help a friend in need.”

“Friend?”

“Yeah, you said it yourself. All normal people boundaries have been crossed. That means you are now officially my friend. I’ll leave the room to you while I go kill Thad. We’ll be downstairs once you’re done.” Blaine left with a perky smile.

* * *

 

Blaine found Thad and the guys playing Mario Kart in the game room, and Blaine didn’t hesitate to start beating Thad up with a pillow.

“Blaine… stop. C’mon, I was in first place.”

“Sorry, but you deserved it.”

“You brought a _boy_ home, Blaine. What was I to assume?”

“Anything other than that!” Blaine threw the pillow at Thad, settling on the floor with the others. “You don’t know what happened.”

“Then why don’t you tell us, Blaine.” David said from his spot at the foosball table across from Wes.

“I… I don’t think I should.”

“If you don’t tell us I’ll make sure the servers in the cafeteria make you two heart shaped pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.” Wes said, followed by an excited “Yes!” as he scored a point.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I so would.”

“Fine I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell Kurt I did.”

“We won’t.” Thad promised.

“When I saw him in the library he was like crying and stuff. He didn’t even notice me when I was right across from him, talking. He kept asking for it to stop, and I didn’t know what was wrong. So I sang to him.”

“Oh Blaine, you didn’t.” Wes face-palmed.

“Oh shut up. But it worked he stopped freaking out. But then he ran away from me, and I chased him to Maxwell dorm.”

“Blaaiinne.” Wes groaned. “I cannot believe you chased him. He probably thinks you’re some creep and is escaping out the back door right now.”

“No, when I got to him in his room-“

“You went into the Maxwell dorm?! How are you alive?” Jeff asked.

“I honestly don’t know. I even had to talk to Sebastian.”

Nick groaned and hid his face under a pillow. “Blaine you have to say he-who-must-not-be-named.”

“Sorry Nick. After nearly punching he-who-must-not-be-named in the face, I found Kurt in his bathroom. He was going to… he had a… he could’ve.”

“Use your big boy words, Blainers.” David said as he took a seat in the little circle that had formed around Blaine.

“He had a knife. Over his heart.”

There were many audible gasps as the Warblers faces contorted with worry and fear.

“He was going to kill himself?” Jeff asked.

“I stopped him, but that’s what happened. He was having some sort of weird flashback episode thing that wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t tell me what it was about, but he said ‘get him off of me’, so I think Kurt was bullied or abused or something.”

“Oh, Blaine. I’m so sorry.” Thad hugged Blaine as he apologized.

“It’s fine. But I don’t know about Kurt. That’s why I brought him back. He can really sing and I think I might be able to convince him to join the Warblers. The snobs at Maxwell just ignore him and he’s all alone. I don’t think he has any friends here.”

“Well that’s gonna change. Go get Kurt and we’ll have him play Mario Kart or something with us. He needs to know that we’re his now.” David picked up an extra Wii remote and started fixing the pillows around the TV. “Time for an official Warbler Wii Tournament guys!”

* * *

 

It took a while for Kurt to warm up to the Warblers, but once he did, he had a lot of fun with them during the Wii tournament. He showed off his secret ninja skills at Mario Kart and whooped all their asses, winning first place in all of the rounds he participated in. By the end of the night they were all exhausted and Kurt fell asleep comfortably in Blaine’s room, and for once wasn’t awoken in the middle of the night by a nightmare. The next morning he groggily awoke to a tray of heart shaped waffles on his lap.

“What the? Blaine?”

“Hmm?” Blaine was just waking up too, and he was also surprised by the waffles. “Oh shit. I am going to literally kill Wes”

“Uh, okay. Well you go do that then, while I enjoy these.” Even though Kurt was still struggling with his anorexia, he felt at home here with Blaine. So he dug in to the mountain of strawberries, syrup, and waffles. Blaine on the other hand, made his way down the stairs to carry out his threat on Wes’ life.

“Are you kidding me, Wes? Heart shaped waffles? You promised!” Blaine was fast approaching Wes, who sat on the couch reading a book.

“Here!” Jeff tossed Blaine a nerf gun and Blaine didn’t hesitate to open foam fire on Wes.

“Ah! Stop it! I lost my page!” Wes was defending himself with a flimsy pillow, but it did no use. Once Blaine ran out of ammo, he just used the pillow as a weapon. After a good five minutes of cushioned warfare, the boys flopped on the couch exhausted.

“Seriously though. You said you wouldn’t do that.”

“I promised I wouldn’t make heart shaped pancakes. Nobody said anything about waffles.”

“Damn technicalities.”

“You should check on your sweet attentive lover, though. He’s all alone in your room.”

Blaine whacked Wes with the pillow once more before going back up the stairs.

Kurt wasn’t in the room when Blaine got back. Instead, Blaine’s pajamas that Kurt had borrowed were neatly folded on the spare bed and a note was on top. The note read:

 

Thanks for everything, I had a lot of fun with you and the Warblers. Please tell Wes I liked the waffles. I promised my dad I would come home today and if I didn’t leave now I would be late.

See you on Monday,

     Kurt

 

 _Shit._ Blaine ran down the hall and down the stairs that led to the back door. He didn’t care that he wasn’t wearing any shoes and that he was still in his pj’s. He wasn’t letting Kurt go that easily. Luckily when Blaine made it out the door Kurt wasn’t too far away and he sprinted to catch up.

“Kurt! Wait up! Jesus the ground is cold.”

“Blaine?” Kurt stopped walking and turned around. “Did you read the note? I have to go, my dad is expecting me home by noon.”

“Yes… But…” Blaine was still trying to catch his breath, running was not his strong suit. “You really need to stop… running away… from me. This is the… second time. Wooh, I am so out of shape.” Blaine was leaned over, resting his hands on his knees, still winded.

“I can’t stay. Really.”

“Please.” Blaine whined using his best sad puppy face.

“Oh, but, I… fine.” Kurt reached into his pocket for his phone, dialing his dad’s number.

“Hey bud, you on your way?” Burt answered.

“Actually dad, I think I’m going to stay here this weekend. I have a crap load of homework and make-up work, and I made some friends who really want me to stay.”

“We were anxious to see you kiddo, but it sounds like you’re having fun and I’m really glad you’re making friends. You have to come home next weekend though, or I swear Carole will drive up there herself to make sure you’re wearing you’re coat.”

Kurt laughed at Carole’s worry; she was so sweet to him. “Tell Carole I’m wearing my coat even though it’s only September. And tell Finn I miss him. And I miss you too dad.”

“I miss you too. Now go and have fun with your friends. Bye.”

“Bye dad, love ya.”

“Love you too kiddo. Bye.” Burt ended the call and Kurt turned to Blaine who was hoping from foot to foot.

“You cold?”

“Let’s just get inside. My feet are cold.”

* * *

 

As the group of boys were leaving the cafeteria after lunch, Blaine took Kurt’s hand and pulled him out a different door.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises.”

“Well get over that because you’ll love this one.” They were walking past the back parking lot and towards a group of little greenhouses that looked forgotten.

“You wanted to show me some greenhouses?”

“No, silly. This.” As they walked around the corner, Blaine gestured to the large and beautiful garden.

“That’s… beautiful.”

“I know, c’mon.” Blaine pulled Kurt through the gate and to a far little corner where there was a lone bench.

“Does anyone come here anymore?” Kurt observed how natural the landscaping looked. Nothing was trimmed and everything just flowed into one another, flowers of all kinds meshing together and intertwining, like an artist’s mixing pallet.

“Other than me, I don’t think so. I come here when I need to get away from everyone and everything. It’s a beautiful escape from reality; to just lose yourself in the sights and smells.”

And that’s what the two boys did. They talked about everything and nothing, just enjoying one another’s company.

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine.

“Sure. As long as I can ask something too.”

“Okay. Well, is everyone here gay?”

Blaine let out a small laugh. “No, no. I am and so are a few others, but not everyone.”

“Nick and Jeff… are they together?”

That made Blaine really laugh, to the point where you could no longer see his eyes and his nose was all scrunched up. “No… well I think so, and so does everyone else, but they deny it. You never really know with them. One minute they refuse to talk to each other because they’ve had some stupid fight and I have to let one of them use my spare bed, and the next they’re sharing a sleeping bag ‘for warmth’. Who knows?” Blaine was still laughing a bit, filing that moment away to share with the others.

“What’s your question?”

“I want to know who hurt you.” The atmosphere changed in an instant, even a random onlooker would’ve seen how the air around them visibly stiffened.

“I… I can’t.”

“Please Kurt.” Blaine turned to face Kurt completely, taking both of the other boys hand’s in his. “You are one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. You’re kind and gentle, a graceful little butterfly. But someone hurt you. One of your frail little wings is broken, and I want to know who is keeping you from flying.”

Kurt just gaped at Blaine like an idiot. That was the single most elegant thing anyone had ever said to him. _Blaine cares; he really, truly, honestly, cares._

“His name is Karofsky.” Kurt had to look away. The raw emotion in Blaine’s eyes was so powerful, it was eating through all of his walls, making Kurt forget about all the threats that loomed over his life. “He was my foster brother.”

Blaine inhaled sharply at the startling new revelation. _Kurt was a foster kid?_

“He bullied me for several reasons, but mostly because I’m gay.”

Blaine was surprised again at the new information, not about the gay part, because he already had his assumptions, but at the fact that Kurt trusted Blaine enough to him all of this.

“That’s all I can say.”

“Oh, Kurt.” Blaine pulled him into a tight hug, trying his hardest to communicate all the hurt he felt for him. Kurt just fell into the much needed embrace. “Can I ask something else?”

“I guess.” Blaine was glad that Kurt wasn’t totally closing himself off and was still willing to answer more questions.

“Will you join the Warblers?”

“What?!” Kurt stared at Blaine like he was crazy. “I. Don’t. Sing.”

“I beg to differ. In case you forgot, you were absolutely stunning when you were singing with me in the Library.”

“Still don’t sing.”

“Kurt, please. If you join the Warblers you can move in with us and get away from the Asswells.”

Kurt giggled at the creative insult to the Maxwell residents. The offer was very appealing.

“And if you join your schedule can get changed around so you don’t have to have classes with them. The Warblers are your friends. All of them.”

“But I don’t like to sing in front of people.”

“You may not believe it, but neither did I. If you say yes I can treat you to a secret about me that no one else knows. Except the people watching me on stage that night.” Blaine shivered a little at the memory. “You’ll find that it’s easy to forget about all that when you’re surrounded by friends.” Blaine hated to do it, but he put on that pleading puppy face again, the second time in one day.

“I hate that face. Fine.”

“Yay! Dinner?” Blaine got up from the bench and headed to the little gate.

“I was promised a secret?”

“Oh. Shit. I forgot I said that.”

“Yeah, sure, you ‘forgot’.”

“My parents had me do a talent show when I was in first grade. When I got on stage… I kinda sorta wet myself.”

Kurt was laughing so hard he literally fell to the ground, clutching his side because it hurt so much. “Oh. My. God. Little Blainey peed himself on stage.”

“Please don’t tell the guys. Please. You have no clue what they’ll do.”

“I won’t. But this is glorious blackmail.”

“You would never.”

“Oh If you pissed me off enough I would so blackmail your sorry ass.”

“Am I seeing your true colors, Hummel?”

“Quite possibly.”


	5. Operation Klaine Lock In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank's for reading!

Ever since their first “date” in the Dalton garden Kurt and Blaine had been spending more and more time together. And when they weren’t together their fellow Warblers had to deal with the unrelenting crushes they had.

“Oh. My. God. Blaine. Just ask him out already. Or lock your door and fuck him till he can’t walk. We don’t care how loud you get, just STOP complaining to us. Okay?!”

Blaine could feel the scarlet blush heat up his face uncontrollably. “WESLEY MONTGOMERY!”

“What?” Wes tried to look as innocent as possible as Kurt walked into the room.

“What did Wes do now?”

“Nuh- Nothing.” Blaine stammered.

“Okaayy then. Do you want to have picnic lunch Blaine? I have a delicious recipe of my mother’s I am dying to use.”

“That sounds lovely.” Blaine hurried over to Kurt in the kitchen and helped him get out the ingredients. Wes rolled his eyes as he went upstairs to his and David’s room laughing.

“I just told Blaine to fuck Kurt and his face turned so red. It was awesome, you should’ve been there.” Wes closed the door to their room and flopped onto David’s bed, disturbing the boy from his reading.

“Was he worrying about being forever stuck in the friend zone again? Because I just sat through a five minute rant from Kurt about how he can’t stand how awkward things are becoming. Apparently Blaine nearly walked in on Kurt in the shower the other day.”

“Do you know how much I would’ve given to see that? Kurt’s face would have been priceless.” Wes said, trying to imitate Kurt’s face.

“But don’t you agree that this is just getting ridiculous? Those two need to suck it up and talk.”

“Or suck each other.”

“Wes! You just gave me the best idea ever!”

David jumped off the bed and tore out the room and down the stairs. He looked around and checked to see if Kurt and Blaine were still there. Wes followed him with a very perplexed look on his face. “I’m starting to get worried. Mental images of Kurt and Blaine doing _that_ should not give you ideas.”

“EMERGENCY WARBLER MEETING NOW!” David yelled up to all the other Warblers in their dorms, and proceeded to bang his gavel on the kitchen table.

In an instant a flood of dark navy and red rushed into the common room. Everyone took their seats on the couch and floor while Trent set up the whiteboard easel.

“Where’s Kurtie and Blainey Bear?” Jeff asked as he sat front and center sprawled out on the floor.

“They’re not supposed to be here, I think.” Wes said and he sat down next to Jeff.

David whacked his gavel on the table again to gain everyone’s attention. “So I think we’re all a little annoyed at Kurt and Blaine.”

There was a general murmur of agreement amongst the Warblers.

“I’ve come up with a way to stop it, or at least to make them talk or realize that their crushes are not a one way street.” He picked up a dry erase marker and in large red letters he wrote ‘Operation Klaine Lock in’. “We’re going to have a Warbler Lock in.”

The room went ballistic. There were cheers and high fives throughout the crowd and Jeff was actually crying tears of joy.

“But this time, we’re going to bend the rules a little. Our goal? To make Kurt and Blaine, whom I have now deemed Klaine, the most sexually frustrated teenagers on campus. And that’s quite a challenge.”

* * *

 

In the midnight darkness of their room Kurt and Blaine were sleeping peacefully. Until a loud blaring air horn startled Kurt awake. “What the hell? Blaine get up.” He threw his pillow in the general direction of Blaine’s bed.

“Kurt? Is something wrong?” Blaine sat up rubbing his eyes.

“Did you seriously sleep through that? There was an air horn or something.”

“An air horn?!” Blaine got up excitedly and looked out the door. The hallway lights were on and Nick came running down the hallway banging on all the closed doors.

“IT’S A WARBLER LOCK IN, BITCHES! GET YOUR SLEEPY ASSES UP AND GO, GO, GO!”

The first of the boys awake started down the hallway in their pajamas.

“What’s a Warbler lock in and why is it taking place in the middle of the night?”

Blaine was jumping around in a rush to gather pillows and blankets. “It’s the best tradition the Warblers have to offer! We lock ourselves in the game room and do some pretty awesome group bonding.”

“At one in the morning?”

“Yeah! Let’s go!” He was hopping from foot to foot like an energetic puppy.

“In our PJ’s?”

“Totally!”

“If I kill someone tonight it is because of this stupid tradition.”

“You’ll love it! Come on!” Blaine pulled Kurt with him down the stairs.

Kurt knew he was in for an interesting night when he got into the game room. It had been transformed into an entirely different space; the air hockey and foosball tables were shoved against a far wall, a circle on the floor had been made out of pillows, and the Ping-Pong table was stacked with- shot glasses?

“Please tell me there isn’t any alcohol. I don’t drink, and for a very good reason.” Kurt followed Blaine to a spot around the circle and they started making themselves comfortable.

“No, we do sugar shots. That’s another name for these lock in’s. Sugar-shot parties.”

“Sugar shots?”

Jeff sat down in front of Kurt with two shot glasses. “Yup! They’re shots of pure sugar!”

“ _What?_ ”

Jeff poured a little mountain dew into the glass. “First you add some mountain dew. Then you add some red bull.” He filled the glass half-full off the energy drink. “And finally you add pure sugar.” He topped off the shot by adding a surprising amount of sugar that settled at the bottom.

Kurt stared at the glass in disbelief. “We have to drink that?”

“It actually doesn’t taste that bad.”

“You’re all going to get diabetes.”

“Well so are you, drink up!” Jeff handed over the two shots and went back to the makeshift bar that was the Ping-Pong table.

Blaine downed his and looked over at Kurt, who was trying to focus on anything but Blaine’s lack of a gag-reflex. “Go on. It’s fun! Everyone has to drink five shots before we can start!” Blaine shoved Kurt’s glass towards him.

With an exaggerated gulp, Kurt took the glass in hand and took a swig of the sugary concoction. As it went down his throat his face twisted and his lips puckered at how sweet it was. “Damn that’s sweet.”

“I know! We need eight more over here!” Blaine called to Nick and the other Warblers that were quickly mixing more shots and even pitchers of the sweet fluid.

* * *

 

They had been trapped in the small space for only five minutes and everyone was already very hyper. Blaine was talking a mile a minute, Kurt was giggling for no apparent reason, and most of the others were in some similar state of sugar-high.

“Let the games begin!” Wes said with a fake accent and flailed his arms dramatically. David, who was the only one not having any sugar, placed a top hat in the center of the circle.

“Where did you get a top hat?” Kurt asked in between giggles.

“Definitely not from your closet.”

“Wesley.” Kurt said with a threatening voice.

“I’ll put it back right where I found it, I promise!”

“Fine, just explain the rules.” Kurt took a sip from the water bottle Blaine had brought with him to try and calm himself down.

“We’re going to start with a lock in staple, truth or dare.” David paused while some of the warblers cheered and gathered in closer. “You pick a slip of paper from the hat and do whatever is written on it, whether it be a truth or dare. But if you don’t want to do it, then you can take a sweet and sour shot.”

Jeff grabbed a pitcher from the table and placed it in the middle or circle next to the hat. “A sweet and sour shot is a little bit of sugar, red bull, and lime juice all mixed together to leave your face permanently puckered.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Kurt turned to Blaine, who was eyeing the pitcher with a nervous look “Is it?”

“It’s horrific.” Blaine confirmed.

“I’ll go first!” Nick picked a slip of paper from the hat. “Ooo. I got a dare! Make up a poem about the person sitting to your right.” Nick read from the paper and turned to Kurt who was at his right. “Ready to be humiliated?” Kurt was already blushing a little and he hid his face in his hands.

“Kurt, you’re the bomb.

You are usually calm,

Unless Blaine is around.

Then you turn into a blubbering mound.

He nearly walked in on you naked,

Which I once did to David,

But let’s be honest.

Blaine is the hottest.

And you would have pulled him into the shower with you.”

Kurt was blushing furiously, Blaine had his face hidden behind a pillow, and Wes and David were dying of laughter. “That is the worst poem ever.” Kurt said, still hiding behind his hands.

“I never said I was poet. But cheer up rosy cheeks! It’s your turn.” Nick shoved the top hat at Kurt, who grabbed at the first thing his fingers touched.

“Truth. If I could have- WHAT? I’m supposed to answer that?”

Blaine giggled next to him. “Yes Kurt. That’s how you play the game.”

“I know that, idiot. But this is, like, a dirty question.”

David tried to suppress a laugh. “Did I forget to mention that most of the truths and dares are dirty?”

“Yes David. You forgot to mention that! I’m not answering this, let alone reading it aloud.”

“Then you have to take a shot.” Jeff picked up the pitcher. “Ready?”

“Don’t make Kurt drink that. Please!” Blaine pleaded.

“Then he has to answer the question.”

Everyone turned to look at Kurt. “What are you going to do, Kurtie?” Jeff asked.

“I’m… I’ll… Fine. I’ll answer the stupid question.” He took a deep breath and read the question as quick as possible. “IfIcouldhaveaonenightstandwithanyoneintheroomwhowoulditbe? Blaine. There I answered the question. Is my turn done now?”

“I didn’t quite catch the question.” Nick teased. But everyone there heard it, including Blaine, whose face was as red as a tomato.

“Okay, well it’s my turn.” Blaine reached in the hat and took out one of the scraps. “Dare, place an ice cube on the person to your lefts stomach and keep it there using only your lips.” Blaine hadn’t thought about it at all, quite used to these dares, until he realized Kurt was the person to his left. “Oh.” He turned to look at Kurt. “Do you want to do this? I can just take the shot if you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, no, no, no. You two are destroying the awesomeness that a Warbler lock in is supposed to be.” David was a little fed up. “Three more shots for everyone! And Jeff, add more sugar.”

* * *

 

Three shots later everyone was back to their hyped up state. “I believe someone was supposed to be bent over Kurt right now, holding a freezing cold ice cube in place?” Thad said as he threw an ice cube at Blaine.

“Ooh, you ready for this Kurt?” Blaine tried to say it seductively as he placed the ice in his teeth, but failed when the ice slipped and he just looked like an idiot.

“Try me.” Kurt winked, pulling his shirt up just a little bit and laid back on a pillow.

“Okay then.” Without warning he placed the ice cube just over Kurt’s belly button, holding it there with his lips.

Shit, warn me next time. That’s fricken cold.” Kurt squirmed.

“There’s going to be a next time?” Nick asked, thoroughly enjoying his front row seat to the display.

Kurt kept giggling and the ice cube kept moving, which was effectively melting it, but Blaine’s mouth kept getting closer and closer to the other boy’s navel. Once it was nearly gone, Blaine used his tongue to keep the ice still.

“Blaine!” Kurt nearly jumped in the air when he felt his tongue, causing the ice to fall off and Blaine’s head to collide face first with Kurt’s crotch.

Blaine dove a good three feet away, ending up sprawled over David and Wes who were both very amused. Kurt had managed to make it back up into a sitting position, clutching a pillow over his lap, his face beet red. Nick and Jeff were doubled over in tears of laughter.

“Let’s just move on, okay?” Blaine made his way back to seat, leaving a lot of space between himself and Kurt.

* * *

 

Once everyone had gotten a chance to participate in truth or dare, David decided to move on to the next game. “Time for sugar- shot twister!”

In a weird practiced unison, everyone got up and started to move all the pillows around. Kurt wasn’t quite sure what awkward, dirty twist they had made up for twister, but everyone was writing their names down on sticky notes so he did too.

“The rules for this game are a little different than actual twister, so pay attention Kurt.” Wes was standing at the head of the twister mat watching Jeff place full shot glasses on each of the spots. “The object of the game is the same, to not fall down. But as you’ve assumed, we put a twist on the game. Four people will be chosen at random from the hat and they will be the ones to play. Everyone else gets to dictate their movements. We will use the spinner until every last shot glass and two people are cleared from the mat, but after that everyone who’s not playing gets a turn to tell the final two where to move. And we like to get creative, because there is more than one way to make a person drop out.”

“How do we get rid of the shots?”

“In order to place your hand or foot on a spot with a glass you have to drink it first.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too hard.” Kurt leaned back against the wall, glad that the twist to twister wasn’t that bad.

“Can I choose the people from the hat?” Jeff asked Wes.

“Sure.”

“Awesome! Player one is…” He reached in and shuffled the papers around. “The one and only Blaine Devon Anderson!”

“Great.” Blaine was now regretting his morally correct decision to place his own name in the hat and not writing down someone else’s just so he wouldn’t have to play the game. At Blaine’s first Warbler lock in, back when Sebastian was still liked and a Warbler, they were the final two and everyone else had managed to move them into a very compromising position. So now he really hated the game.

“Next up is… me! Yay! The third competitor is… Nick!” Nick nd Jeff high fived. “Finally we have… Kurt! Yes, best group ever!”

The four boys positioned themselves at one of the sides of the mat and David took the honors of spinning first. “Left foot, Red.”

* * *

 

Kurt and Blaine were the final two in Twister. Nick and Jeff “fell” just after the final shot had been consumed.

“Blaine, move your right hand to the yellow next to the green that Kurt’s hand is on.” Trent instructed after a quick discussion amongst the group about how awkward they wanted this to get.

“You can’t pick certain dots for us. Just colors!”

“They actually can tell us exactly where to move.” Blaine said as he moved his hand to the spot. “That’s why I hate this game.”

“Yup, Blainey boy is right. Your right foot is going to the third red up, Kurt.”

Kurt did as he was told and ended up hovering in a starfish like position just inches above Blaine. They both blushed furiously and tried to move their bodies away from each other without losing balance, but Kurt’s upper body strength was failing him and his arms were starting to twitch. “Blaine, I’m going to fall any minute now, and unless you want this getting any more awkward, I suggest one of us just gives up.”

“Okay.” Blaine lowered his back to floor, officially making him the loser, and shimmied out from under Kurt.

“Oh, come on. You spoiled another game. You two are party poopers.” Jeff pouted.

“Can we play something more fun? You know I hated that game anyways.” Blaine and David folded up the game mat and tucked the box away.

“What about dirty minds?”

“Yes!” Blaine started jumping up and down like an excited child.

“What’s that?”

“It’s really simple. Someone asks a riddle that’s really an innuendo, and you have to keep a straight face and give the innocent answer.” Blaine explained to Kurt.

The Warblers moved the pillows back into a circle and got comfortable, they had agreed that after this they would go to bed, so those that brought sleeping bags laid them out. “We’re not going back to our rooms to sleep?”

“It’s part of the experience, Kurt. Group bonding! You can share my sleeping bag since you don’t have your own.” Blaine offered.

“I guess. But that’s just because I don’t feel like getting cuddled by Nick.

“Hey! I find that offensive. And Blaine is a known cuddle whore.”

“I am.”

“Oh whatever.”

“Ready?” David asked. “Remember, try not to laugh. What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft?”

Some of the kids giggled and Jeff had his head in Nicks shoulder to suppress his urge to laugh, but Kurt was laughing freely. “Kurt, you weren’t supposed to laugh. You totally just lost.” Blaine poked Kurt in the side. “I thought you were a fierce competitor.”

“I am.” Kurt giggled some more. “But is their even a clean answer to that?”

“Yeah, it’s bubblegum.”

“Bubblegum? I had different ideas.”

“Next question. What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?” Thad asked the question and the process continued. Kurt still found it hard to keep his giggle quiet, but by the time it had come around to be his turn he had noticed Blaine had never laughed once.

“How do you even win this game?”

“By not laughing, and currently Blaine is winning. He always does.”

“Yeah, I’m the champion. Never lost a game once.”

“Well, I’m the last person, so I’m going to change that. Give me that question card, Nick.” He moved to sit opposite Blaine. “You stick your pole inside me.” Kurt’s voice had lowered and he moved his face to whisper in Blaine’s ear. “You tie me down to get me up.” Kurt mad a daring move and placed a hand high on Blaine’s thigh. Blaine was biting his lip to try and keep from laughing. Or moaning. “I get wet before you do.”

Blaine couldn’t hold in it any longer. He wasn’t sure why he was laughing because _Kurt_ was whispering those things in _his_ ear, and he was incredibly turned on, but he couldn’t help but the find the situation somewhat comedic.

The rest of the room was cheering as they watched the champion curl up, clutching his sides from laughing so hard to the point where there were tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“I did it! I made you laugh! Yes!” Kurt pumped his fist in the air, then proceeded to join Blaine in laughing. He really could not believe that he just did that.

* * *

 

It sometime around three in the morning and Kurt could not sleep. Blaine was comfortably curled up on him because he was a snuggle monster, and Kurt would give anything to fall asleep cuddling with Blaine every night, but he just could not fall asleep. He was hot and the floor was too hard and the night’s events just kept flashing before his eyes.

“Blaine, Blaine wake up.” Kurt whispered and poked his shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“I can’t sleep.”

He blinked blearily and untangled himself from Kurt. “What’s wrong? Why can’t you sleep?”

“The ground is hard, and it’s hot, and I think too much.”

“You wanna talk?”

“Could we?”

“Yeah, let’s go. But be quiet.”

They picked up their stuff and silently left the game room.

After putting the sleeping bag away, Blaine said, “Put your shoes on. We’re going to the garden.”

“But it’s past curfew!”

“Let’s be dangerous rule breakers, then.”

“Oh, Blaine, revealing your secret bad boy side just for me? I’m so honored.”

“I’m always a bad boy for you, Kurt.” He winked at Kurt and took him by the hand as they ran down the back staircase. They stayed hidden behind buildings and cars as they stealthily made their way across the campus.

Once at the garden they erupted in giggles, claiming that they were now badasses for sneaking out past curfew. But the laughter and adrenaline died down quickly and the atmosphere was serious as they sat down on their bench.

“Why did you bring me here, Blaine?”

“To look at the stars.”

They were both looking up, marveling the beautiful twinkling light in the galaxy above them.

“I mean that second day, after I met you. This place is clearly special to you, and you brought me here with no worries that I would spoil it.”

“How could you spoil a place like this?”

“With memories.”

“Exactly. Kurt, I brought you here because you needed happy memories, and this place has always given me happy memories. But there was a reason I brought you here tonight, not just for looking at the stars.”

“What’s that?”

“We need to talk about your past.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes, Kurt, we do. Earlier at the party was amazing. It was great to see you so unreserved, and dare I say a tad daring. That was the real Kurt I was seeing and I really liked him. But I didn’t like that the only way you could be yourself, truly yourself, was when intoxicated by extreme amounts of sugar. I want to see the real you all the time. But this Karofsky is making you stay hidden behind these walls that no one can climb. These horrible walls that are made of petrifying memories that have scarred you. You can act all you want, but I know that sometimes they resurface. I can see it in your eyes, they fill up with this terrifying raw emotion. I saw it in your eyes that night at the library. He was hurting you. He wasn’t their physically, but they were mentally and you can’t let someone beat you up on the inside forever. You asked me for help, you pleaded for it to stop, and I’m trying Kurt. I’m trying as hard as I can, but I’m failing. You need to fight with me. Find your courage.”

Kurt’s eyes were welling up with tears. “It started when I was twelve.” Kurt broke down. He had never admitted this to anyone, ever. “He just came into my room. I was so naïve. And then he kissed me. I thought he was going to hit me again, but that was so much worse. And then the bullying just got even rougher and then a week later he did… more. And it went on like that for a year.”

Blaine was holding Kurt, who at some part collapsed in his arms, knowing and trusting they would be there to comfort him. “It’s okay, no one will hurt you now.” Blaine was crying too. He couldn’t believe any of this. Why are some people so horrible?

“Just before I was finally taken away from them, he took that final piece of me.”

“Kurt.” Blaine hugged him tighter, never wanting him to leave the safety of his arms. “Did he… rape you?”

“Yes.” Kurt cried even harder, the syllable choked out and broken.

They stayed in their tight embrace until Blaine could pull himself together enough to ask another question. “Was that it?” It came out a plea, a final prayer that the boy was long gone from those times.

“No. I… they found my dad. I went home, and I made friends, but when I went to school… he was there. And he bullied me again, as if nothing had changed. But then he took me into a classroom one day. And made me get down on my knees… but I was used to it. I could just go like it never happened. But he threatened me afterwards. He told me no one would ever love me, and that he would hurt anyone who did. And I’m used and worthless. He told me to kill myself. And that night in library, I just gave in. I couldn’t handle it.”

“Kurt, Kurt look at me.” He looked Kurt straight in the face. “You are not used and worthless. You are a beautiful soul that deserves to stay on this earth. You’re strong and courageous, and you can handle anything. Always tell yourself that. And you’re loved. You have the Warblers, your friends, and your dad. And me. I love you.”

“Of course you do. Or else I wouldn’t be here right now. But you don’t love me… like that.”

Blaine picked Kurt up and stood beneath the glimmering starts.

“Yes, Kurt, I do! I’m in love with you! You are the single most gorgeous person I’ve seen. And there aren’t even words to describe how beautiful your soul is. I’ve thought that from the moment I saw you. Tears and all. I love you, Kurt.”

“Blaine.” Kurt was smiling, his tears happy now, as this idiot professed his love for him.

“I wanted to give you this.” Blaine pulled out a small box from his back pocket. Kurt gasped. “It’s a charm, for your necklace. You’ve never told me about it, but I’ve noticed how you always play with it. Like it’s a symbol of safety. I don’t know what it means, but I’ve always thought that it was like a little physical representation of your heart. It’s always there, strong and tough, but it really wouldn’t take that much to crush. But it’s so empty. Your heart shouldn’t be empty. So I saw this and I just thought of you.”

He placed a tiny little silver heart charm in his hand. It was simple and a little faded, but it was right. “The necklace was my mothers.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means everything you just said. Blaine, this means so much to me, you have no idea. I… I love you.” They gazed into one another’s eyes, the world silent around them. The distance between their faces closed slowly, as did their eyes, and they kissed. It was chaste, slow, and full of all the love that there was no words for, yet at the same time heated and passionate because that was what the felt for one another.

They parted for breath as Kurt whispered “You lied.”

“What about?” Blaine was afraid he did something wrong.

“You can climb my walls.”

“No, we met at the top. You helped yourself too because you can conquer anything.”

“Love conquers all.”

“Cheesy.”

“But true.”


	6. A Serious Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for lots of angst in this chapter.

“Nick, Nick wake up.” Jeff kicked him lightly to wake up.

“What now?”

“Kurt and Blaine are gone.”

“What!? Dudes wake up, Kurt and Blaine are gone!” Nick jumped up, suddenly not sleepy and investigated the spot where Kurt and Blaine were supposed to be sharing a sleeping bag.

“Where’d they go?” David and Wes joined in the investigation.

“I don’t know, I just woke up. But what if they went up to their room to… you know… do stuff?” Jeff looked up at the ceiling, trying to hear any noises from upstairs.

 “No, they wouldn’t. Would they?” Wes opened the door of the game room and looked around the commons. “Well they aren’t down stairs. Maybe they just wanted to sleep in their own beds. Even though Blaine knows that that violates the rules of a lock in.”

“Who wants to go upstairs and check?” David and some of the other Warblers swarmed around the base of the stairs.

“I’m not. I’ll just get myself food. Leave them to their own recreational activities.” Jeff walked over to the kitchen.

Nick just stared at him. “You waked me up just so you could get food?”

“Unless _you_ want to go upstairs.”

“You woke us all up. You go, Jeff.”

“No! I don’t want to hear THAT.”

“They could just be sleeping, like in their own beds.” Wes suggested

“I call a warbler vote. Who here thinks that Jeff should go investigate?” David asked

The majority of the Warblers, all quite disgruntled from being woken up by Jeff, raised their hand.

David smacked his fist on the table like a gavel. “Jeff, go look. The Warblers have spoken.”

“Assholes.” He muttered under his breath as he carefully made his way to the second floor dormitories. He proceeded with caution, like a monster was going to jump out at him. He knocked twice on Kurt and Blaine’s door. “You guys awake? We’re eating. Also, Wes is a little pissed you left.”

There was no reply. He knocked again but still got no reply, so he put his ear up against the door.

“Do you hear anything?” Nick called up from the foot of the stairs.

“No. Not even Blaine’s snoring.”

“Then go in.”

“Fine.” He turned the knob slowly and peeked around the door. “What? Guys, no one’s here.” Jeff yelled down at the others.

“What? You mean they disappeared?” Nick and a few others went upstairs and looked around. “That’s weird. The cafeteria doesn’t open for another hour. Where’d they go?”

Jeff shrugged his shoulders and walked to the end of the hall near his room. He glanced out the large window that overlooked the campus near the back staircase. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT! KLAINE IS ON YOU FUCKERS!” Everyone ran to Jeff and looked out the window. Sure enough, in the middle of the path to the dorm, Blaine and Kurt were kissing.

There was a mixture of expletives from the Warblers, all in shock at the two boys kissing.

“WE DID IT!” Everyone jumped up and celebrated the “success” of their Klaine lock in.

* * *

 

“Where did that come from?” Blaine pulled his back from the kiss for breath and looked dreamily into Kurt’s eyes.

“I’m just so happy.”

“I love it when you’re happy.” He placed another quick kiss to Kurt’s lips, but was interrupted when he heard muffled screams and yells. “What the hell?”

They looked up at the Warbler house. There was hoard of pajama clad boys jumping around behind the window. “Oh god.” Kurt dropped his head onto Blaine’s shoulder. “They’re going to have a field day with this.”

“Well, if we make out in front of them I think we might be able to make some of them faint.”

“ _Blaine._ ” Kurt playfully swatted at his arm.

“I’m serious. At the very least we can make Jeff cry tears of joy.”

“Really?”

“You wanna try?”

“Why not.”

They went for it.

Jeff fainted, but that might have been from the previous night’s rapid sugar intake.

* * *

 

A little while later after a party had been thrown in their favor, Kurt and Blaine snuck up to their room.

“I told you they would have too much fun with this.” Kurt said as he flopped onto his bed.

“I didn’t think Jeff would actually faint.”

“ _Twice._ ”

“Kurt, I hate to do this, but we need to have a serious talk.”

“I hate serious talks.” Kurt shuffled further up his bed and made room for Blaine next to him.

“I love you, I really do, but I am just a little… confused I guess.”

“What’s confusing?”

“I feel like I know all about you. All our late night talks, texts during class, evenings spent in the garden, they are wonderful, and I love learning all this stuff about you. But I don’t know you.”

“Sure you do. We could totally win the dating game and we’ve only been together for a day.” Kurt knew where this was going, and he really wanted to avoid answering any more questions.

“But your past, Kurt. It can’t go unsaid. That just won’t work.”

He squirmed uncomfortably. “What do you want to know?” Kurt’s voice was much quieter and he kept his head down, avoiding Blaine’s strong gaze.

“We’ve only talked about it twice.”

“And I think that’s enough.”

“No it’s not. You know that.”

“Fine, Blaine! Ask me anything, I’m an open book. I’m sure you want to hear all of the juicy details of how he _raped_ me! Do you want to hear how many times? Because I kept count!” Kurt leapt from the bed, years of suppressed anger finally boiling over. “Or how about where? Do you want to know where he made me lean over the side of a table or get down on my knees? Huh, Blaine? What do you want to know? _He. Raped. Me_. He took away my virginity. I’m all used up. Why do you even love me?” Kurt collapsed to the floor. He was out of breath, panting.

Blaine sat in shock for a good minute before running to Kurt’s side. “I didn’t… Kurt, I never…”

“What?” Spite was dripping from his words.

“Kurt, I love you, you know that. I love you because-“

“Oh don’t give me another stupid list of reasons why you love me. It was a rhetorical question.”

“Why are you so mad?”

“Are you kidding me?” Kurt inched away from Blaine.

“I don’t know why you are releasing all of your pent up anger on me.”

Kurt stood up and took a few large steps away from Blaine. “No one has ever cared about me. And then all of a sudden they find my father and I go to this tiny town and actually have a family. And then they send me away too! But then I find you. You’re perfect, Blaine. But it’s only matter of time before you leave me too. I’m a mess.”

Blaine stood up and walked over to the couch and sat down. He patted the spot next to him for Kurt to sit, which he did unwillingly.

“I won’t leave you because you’re a mess. But we need to talk. I didn’t do anything and you just… exploded.” Blaine wildly gestured an explosion with his hands. “I don’t want to hear about any of _that_. But before that, there’s all this history that you never talk about. I mean, you were a foster kid. You have literally only mentioned this like three times, and it clearly has changed you.”

“My mom died when I was eight. She was really sick, but didn’t do anything about it. I was so little, I just didn’t know. And then she was gone.” Blaine held Kurt’s hand and gave it a small sympathetic squeeze for support.  “She always told me that my dad had died before I was born in an accident overseas. But apparently that was all a lie. A few months ago they told me that my dad was actually alive and he didn’t even know that I existed up until then.”

“What happened in between then?”

“Well, after she died, they sent me to live with the Karofsky’s. It was okay for a good four years or so. But when we got a little older, and he learned some stuff, he started bullying me for being gay. I wasn’t even out. And then, well, you know what happened.”

“That’s still not the whole story.” Blaine hated being so pushy, but he had to. This was clearly bothering Kurt.

“You want the whole seven year explanation?”

“If you’re okay with that.”

“My mom, Elizabeth, and I lived in Oregon. She died, like I said, and I moved to Arkansas to live with the Karofsky’s for five years. I would’ve stayed with them too, if things didn’t happen. But they did, and I… I stopped talking and eating. My child welfare caseworker, Earl, had me ‘temporarily’ removed from the family because of my degrading health. They sent me to live with the Petersons in Chicago until I got better and ate more. Then they were going to send me back. But I didn’t want to go back, so I just never ate. It was like that for two years until they found out my mom was actually a runaway because her family excommunicated her because she was involved with my dad, who was like ten years older than her. That’s when I moved here.”

“Oh my God, Kurt.” He hugged Kurt, who flinched a little. Blaine let go when he noticed this.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes I have to remind myself that you’re not going to hurt me.”

“I would never hurt you. No one will ever again. I promise.”

“But you can’t promise that.”

“Well then I promise that if anyone does try to hurt you, they will have to hurt me too.”

They sat in silence. Kurt was fixedly staring at a random book on the floor, and Blaine watched him. Every few minutes Kurt’s face would scrunch up and he would tense. Blaine didn’t know why, and to test it he lightly placed his other hand over their joined ones. Kurt flinched again.

“Something is still wrong.”

“Blaine just stop it.” Kurt moved away from him to the other side of the couch.

“What did I do now? You kept flinching, and all I did was touch your hand. An hour ago we were making out in front of all the Warblers. In public! Now you don’t even want me to hold your hand.” Blaine looked down, his voice sad and defeated. He had no idea why Kurt was acting like this.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just all too much.”

“We can take things as slow as you want, Kurt. I want you to feel comfortable so I can feel comfortable. But clearly I’m doing something wrong. Is there still stuff we need to talk about?”

“No there isn’t. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, that’s a lie. I can’t do this if you are going to lie to me.”

“Then leave.” Kurt’s words barely audible, but Blaine heard them.

“What!” He stood up and faced Kurt who hid his face in hands. “Why do you think I would want to leave you? We’ve been over this. You aren’t used or a mess. You’re perfect and I want to spend all the time I can with you.”

“I’m a rape victim.” Kurt’s voice was still very quiet.

“Kurt…” Blaine’s face softened and he sat back down. “I don’t want to make you talk about it.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it. The moments… they replay themselves in my mind so often. It’s like a nightmare on repeat.”

“All the time?”

“Except last night at the lock in. I could only think about you. But I was so sugar high. I don’t want be one of those people who drown their feelings in alcohol when I get older.”

“You won’t, you’re strong.”

“But they won’t stop. It makes it hard to appreciate any contact.”

“Have you thought about therapy?”

“Blaine, you are the only person I’ve ever told. And that was so hard. I couldn’t tell a complete stranger. The whole idea of therapy kind of disgusts me.”

“I can listen.” Blaine cocked his head to the side, and gave a Kurt a sweet smile.

“I don’t want to tell you those things.”

“What things? I don’t need you to me the specifics. But, like, emotions.”

Kurt finally looked over at Blaine, confused.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Well, I love you, so that’s a big factor. But clearly you need to tell someone or it will eat you up. But I hate pushing you to tell me stuff. I really do, it makes me feel like a jerk.”

“You’re not a jerk. And if you didn’t make me talk I would probably be dead.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. You are the only reason I’m alive.”

“I don’t like it when you say that. You’re really strong on your own.”

“I guess I could tell you a little.”

“You don’t have to. I think we’ve talked enough for now.” Blaine took Kurt’s hand and walked him over to his bed.

“But you will always be willing to listen?”

“Always. But know we should sleep.”

“I love you, Blaine.”

“I love you too.” Blaine kissed Kurt on the forehead and walked over to his own bed. For a while they just lied there gazing at each other in the dark from opposite sides of the room.

* * *

 

Downstairs in the common room there was a group of plotting Warblers. They had heard the argument. They had heard Kurt’s confession. And they were going to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone was asking for more information about Kurt's past so I wrote some, but expect more in the next chapter. I decided to split the original chapter into shorter parts so there wouldn't be too much angst.


	7. Cereal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say thanks to my friend Makayla who told me I should keep writing this. I honestly would've abandoned it if it weren't for you.

Kurt’s sleep was restless. He desperately needed it as he had a long day of classes waiting for him, but by five in the morning Kurt just gave up and silently crept downstairs to make himself an early breakfast. No one else was up and Kurt didn’t expect them to be- everyone slept in until a few minutes before the breakfast bell.

Of all the people Kurt didn’t want to see, Blaine topped the list. They had just gotten together that day and Blaine was asking so many questions. He felt violated but at the same time a little relieved. It did feel good to finally tell someone, but not in that way. It was an invasion of all his privacy.

Kurt went to pour himself some cereal, but he just stared at the box instead. It was Blaine’s favorite kind.

“Fucking _cereal_ is taunting me.”

He stormed out the door.

* * *

 

Wes wasn’t one to wake up early. And even after a considerably decent sleep, his mind was still swimming from the previous night. He and the other warblers were seriously considering acting on the plan they created. Then he would have to deal with whatever fallout occurred, and considering the long list of ways Jeff wanted to torture this Karofsky kid, several scenarios would include calling his parents to bail them out of jail.

What really bothered the Warblers was Kurt. Even though Kurt had Blaine he was still a wild card, and dragging all of his past up could be harmful to Kurt.

He got out of bed quietly, not disturbing the snoring David to his left, and went downstairs. The light was already on in the kitchen and a box of cereal lay abandoned on the counter. Wes looked around the room then checked the game room to see who else was awake, but the house was quiet. He went back upstairs and saw Blaine’s door was open, and inside Kurt’s bed was empty.

“Shit.”

Closing Blaine’s door silently, Wes returned to his room and slipped a pair of shoes on before returning back downstairs and out the front door.

The sun was just creeping over the horizon and the grass was covered in a fresh layer of dew. Wes walked hurriedly down the trail and over to the school building, using his student card to get in. The cafeteria wasn’t open for an hour so he walked down the hall, looking down the smaller corridors until he saw Kurt in the library, curled up in a chair reading a book.

“There you are.”

Startled, Kurt jumped a little in his seat and let out a small yelp before realizing who it was approaching him. “Wes, you scared me. What are you doing here?”

“Sorry about that, when I woke up you were gone and I didn’t know where you were.”

“Oh. Well I’m fine, you can go back to the house and stop worrying now.” Kurt said as he went back to reading his book.

“Kurt are you okay?”

It was the question he dreaded. But he put on a fake smile and nodded “I’m totally fine.”

Wes watched Kurt, questioning whether he should bring up the fight or not. But something was obviously wrong since it was five- thirty in the morning and they were in the library of all places.

“Look, I don’t know how to put this, but uh last night we were downstairs and we could hear you and Blaine’s… fight.” Wes looked down at his feet, just his eyes looking up through his lashes to watch Kurt’s reaction.

Kurt's smile faltered and his eyes widened a little. _Did they hear everything? Were the walls that thin?_ “Um, yeah it was just a little spat. You didn’t actually hear what we were saying though, right?”

Wes didn’t answer, the look on his face telling enough.

“Fuck. Well I… that was a long time ago and I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I really don’t like talking about it.” Kurt brought his knees up to his chest and his shoulders rounded forward. He tried to focus back on his book but the words just blurred.

“That’s fine. It’s just, look that kid that did that stuff, uh… does he still bother you?”

“No. My dad took me out and sent me here immediately. Not many people know where I actually am.”

“Well we’re all here for you if you need us, especially Blaine.”

Kurt flinched just slightly at the mention of Blaine. “Sure.”

“I’m serious. If you-“

“Yes Wes I know. I’ve heard it a billion times before, I get it.” His words came out harsher then intended.

“Did anyone upset you? If you were uncomfortable at the lock-in I swear it was in good heart, we didn’t know. You and Blaine we’re just…”

“Practically dating for months but we never admitted it, I know. I’m fine none of you did anything wrong.” Kurt really wished Wes would just leave him alone.

“Are things cool then?”

“Yes. You can go now.”

Wes stood up to leave, but something still wasn’t right. Kurt was being overly hostile if everything really was cool between him and the Warblers. He sat back down.

“Now I know it’s not my place to talk, but are things between you and Blaine okay? That fight sounded kinda awful for two people who just got together.”

Kurt glared at him for a few moments, deciding whether or not to answer. But it was clear Wes wasn’t going to leave him alone, so Kurt took the bait. “We’ve been so close for months but now it’s just _official_ and I think Blaine thought that meant he automatically got to know everything. It doesn’t. But apparently everyone else knows so I should just deal with it, but I don't know.”

“Don’t know what?”

“What to do. I’m really pissed at Blaine, why else would you think I’d be here. He was my secret keeper but I screwed that up like everything else.”

Kurt’s use of the phrase ‘secret keeper’ made Wes smile. He was trying to be the unbiased third- party, but in the end he was shipped Klaine as much as the next Warbler. “He doesn’t have to have a direct purpose in order for you to still love him.”

“I think we jumped into things too fast. I mean I told him a lot of shit, he professed his love and then we celebrated with you guys. Right after that he was demanding to know more. It was invasive and draining.”

“Have you told him that? Blaine’s a little full on and immersive sometimes without knowing it.”

“No I haven’t. Should I?” Kurt was surprised that he was having this conversation right now, and with Wes of all people.

“I think you should, but I’m just Wes. Blaine would never take relationship advice from me so don’t tell him I suggested it. Wes isn’t good with dating.” They stood up and went out into the hall.

“Referring to yourself in the third person? Really?”

Wes just laughed. “Go get Blaine, Kurt.” So Kurt took off down the hallway towards the door. “And put the cereal away!” We shouted after him at the last minute.

* * *

 

Back at the Warbler house David was in the kitchen pouring himself a bowl of the cereal Kurt had left out.

“Oh you’re awake.” Kurt said as he entered.

“Yeah I woke up when Wes decided to leave at six in the morning. Classes don’t even start until eight, what are you two doing awake?”

“I… I need to go talk to Blaine. And put that cereal away unless you want Wes pissed at you.” Kurt turned around and went upstairs, slipping into his room quietly.

Blaine was still asleep peacefully. Kurt just stood there and took in the sight of the beautiful sleeping boy in front of him. His breath was slow and deep, his chest rising and falling. For as long as they had shared this room Kurt had never seen Blaine asleep so soundly, which was quite the opposite of the night he himself had had.

As much as he hated disturbing Blaine, Kurt pressed his lips lightly to Blaine’s. The sleeping boy twitched a little before a small smile spread across his cheeks and his eyes opened slowly.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Kurt sat on the bed next to Blaine.

Blaine turned and faced Kurt, propping his head on his hand, smiling brightly. “You know how to wake a guy up.”

Kurt smiled in response, but just a little. “Can we talk?”

“Oh that’s not a good thing.” His smile fell.

“No, no not like that. I was a little bit upset still upset about last night and I talked Wes-“

We does not give good advice just to warn you.” Blaine said as he cut Kurt off, sitting up so Kurt could have his full attention.

“Yeah he said that. But I realized that I should’ve told you that when you kept asking me questions, I didn’t like it. It was way too much and that’s why I snapped at you. I’m sorry.” Kurt looked down away from Blaine.

“Kurt, why are you sorry? I’m the jackass here, I’m the one who should be apologizing. I knew you didn’t want to answer and I kept pushing you to talk and I’m really really sorry. I just want you to be comfortable and feel like you can talk to me like we used to even though we’re like dating now.”

“You think dating would make me want to talk about that part of my life less? Blaine it’s the exact opposite. There’s no one else I would want to share those secrets with, only you. I trust you more than anyone.” He looked back at Blaine, who had nothing less than pure love and devotion in his eyes. So Kurt brought up the last thing he needed to clear up. “And um, do you think we jumped into the deep end a little too soon? I don’t regret anything, I just… are we going really fast? I feel like we’ve been dating forever but it’s really only been one day.”

Blaine reached out and took Kurt’s hand. “I totally agree. Yesterday was really crazy and maybe we both just really caught up in it. I want you to set the speed of things because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I know sometimes I can be really intense, but that’s only because I love you so just tell me when I do that again, okay?”

“I promise.” He said, looking at their intertwined hands before he returned his gaze to Blaine’s eyes where he got lost.

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Yes.” Kurt said breathlessly.

Leaning forward simultaneously, Blaine caught Kurt’s bottom lip in his. At first it was slow with no intentions, just love. Then Kurt moved his head and leaned his head impossibly closer, running the tip of his tongue along the other boys bottom lip, sending a shiver down both of them. Blaine smiled into the kiss, breaking it for the shortest second before opening his mouth a little wider and allowed Kurt to explore further.

They were still holding hands and Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand a little. "I love you." He said, the words muffled against Blaine's lips.

“I love you too.”

The impromptu makeup make out session lasted 15 minutes before Jeff walked right into the room without knocking, carrying two bowls.

“Good morning lovebirds! Cereal?”

* * *

 

Late into the night the Warblers met in the game room. Trent was stationed outside as a guard in case either Kurt or Blaine came downstairs. They had disappeared earlier that night to “study”.

In the game room the boys had gathered around the ping pong table, Wes and David at the head.

“So I talked to Kurt and apparently very few people know he is here, which eliminates a few of Jeff’s ideas.” Wes said as Jeff’s face fell.

“Honestly we need to rethink everything we had planned and go with something safer.” David was scratching a lot of things off the yellow legal pad in front of him.

 The room was silent besides the scratch of David’s pen. So Thad spoke up. “Maybe we should just come up with a protection plan in case anything happens and scratch the attack ideas. If few people really know he’s here then I think we should keep it that way.”

“But then it’s not revenge and I want revenge!” Jeff shouted a little too enthusiastically.

“Calm down Jeff, Thad has a good point. And we’ve also never bothered to really ask Kurt if he wants to do anything about it. I talked to him, but all I did was ask if he was still bothered by the jerk. And since he isn’t I think starting something up might cause him too and I would hate that.” Wes leaned back against the near wall. They had been so caught up in revenge plots they never bothered to think about Kurt and it was selfish.

“But we can’t do nothing.” Nick said, agreeing with Jeff on the revenge schemes.

“I think we should take another Warbler vote. Those who think we should act on the revenge plan go to left side of the room, those who think we should talk to Kurt about all of this go to the right.” David said as he prepared his gavel.

Almost all of the Warblers moved to the right, but Jeff defected to the left immediately. Nick stood in the middle, unsure whether he should follow Jeff or the crowd, but ultimately went to the right and gave Jeff an apologetic look.

“Alright then. The Warblers have spoken and we will talk to Kurt." The gavel smacked against the game table.

They filed out into the common room and Wes filled Trent in. Jeff though went right up to his room, still upset about the final decision. He wanted justice for Kurt and if he couldn’t do that with the help of the others he would do it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update again. But I'm devoted to finishing these final few chapters so expect another update soon(ish). Thanks so much for reading!


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